Topic Tuesday // Burnout // 24 Jan. 7pm AEDT

[Former-Member]

It sounds like you're keeping yourself on a tight leash emotionally @Former-Member.  Do you have a safe place to let out all the feelings you've risen above over the past year to keep helping your family?  Do you go to counselling and let loose?  Or go for a walk and talk it through with yourself?  That's a favourite with me.  Thankfully mobile phones have made people talking to themselves seem more normal these days!  Back in the day I've been known to walk and cry too.

It's all very well to keep it together for loved ones - really admirable actually - but there still needs to be an outlet.  What's yours?

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member

Is it okay to come on??

Burnout - I think i suffered burnout a few months ago when I ended up in a mental health unit for 3 weeks just before xmas.

And i am not too sure if i am heading for another due to having to work, selling our home of 14 yrs and then working out where to live, pack and actually move. and that's not including my own mental health. so many triggers aren't helping.  Also have my mother in law who lived with us for 20 yrs move out into a nursing home last year with dementia. so even that is hard.

For me i think i need time out when i get like this.  i know my own body.  actually today i went to see my GP and started to cry and said to him "i don't know why i am crying" and he turned around and said "it's because you are so stressed".  so looks like another chat with my psych in a few weeks time.

[Former-Member]

That makes sense @Former-Member. I have taken time out for myself by spending time with friends and enjoying my craft (or I should say doing it). It is my emotional reserves I feel that is running out I think  - there is always a challenge for me everyday (primary carer) and I don't feel I am making any significant difference to helping my daughter.....And it's a constant battle to stay in the moment because of the illness of my husband and mental instability of my daughter, I have to constantly battle with my mind against believing there is a tragedy waiting around the corner......And then I zone out. It is interfering with my rountine and my husband is noticing...

[Shaz51]

@Former-Member, totally true , tht is what I have been doing , going, going, going

So it's time to slow down and re-direct some of your care and attention back to yourself. Refuel yourself.  What works for you in that sense

yes , time alone , baths

[Former-Member]

One of the lessons I learned from my own burnout was that it was avoidable.  If I hadn’t given my ALL (24 hours on call, crazy workload, identifying too strongly with clients) and had given more to myself, it wouldn’t have happened.  I am sure of that.

As I've said, for me at that point in time, if I had swum more often and meditated more frequently, I would have made it through.  It was that simple.  I already had good social support, was getting enough sleep and (relatively) good nutrition.  But more of those two things in particular would have spared me a physically and emotionally difficult experience that still has repercussions for me to this day.

But what replenishes us if different.  I think that whatever it is needs to be practised daily.  Not necessarily the same thing but something that re-directs the energy flow from others back to yourself.  It can be so many things - baking, chatting, napping, watching, reading, gardening, the list is endless.

What matters is the recognition that you need to re-fuel and the daily intention to do so.  You need food and you need soul food also. 

So what are the activities that really replenish you?  The ones that make you feel better about yourself and the world around you?

[Former-Member]

Sorry for the late reply @Former-Member. My iPad dropped out. Walking I love and it does help a lot. Haven't been able to do it for a few days because of an old ankle injury resurfacing. I find it difficult and stressful to do regimated exercise such as aerobics etc. I love to walk and dance. But when returning from such My mood can drop again.

I have no one to talk to in real life about how I am feeling on this level. My husband becomes very upset - so I hold it in and try to deal with everything myself. Talking here does help.

[Shaz51]

ohhhhhhhh @Former-Member

I don`t have any  good social support, wow,, I do nearly nothing for myself

to think of what i used to do before -- I need to take steps to refuel myself

[Former-Member]

Hi @BlueBay, of course you can join us.  It's good to hear from you.

It's good that you know the signs.  I wish we didn't need the experience of burnout to learn from but some of us are so determined to keep going that we need to be stopped in our tracks.  Then we get it! 

I think that the balance can be out for a while - we can keep on keeping on for a time - but then it catches up.  So you know that you'll get through the move and all the other challenges but are wisely aware that there might be a cost.

Can you carve out some moments for yourself each day Bluebay?  This might stave off another burnout. 

[Former-Member]

I have seen a couple of,psychologists/counsellor in the past which helped - but my grief/stressors where a bit much for them (I was a lot worse a few years back ). I have suffered many losses and tragedies. But felt I got on top of all this. Trying to prevent now from slipping backwards

[Tanoozle]

Besides this carers forum, are there other carer support groups available? I think it would be helpful (at least for me) to have peers who understand what being a carer entails.
Believe it or not, I have people continually asking me if I've 'found a job yet' like I'm bludging. I smile and say I'm a carer but for certain people, they simply do not understand. I guess it also adds to the frustration I find comes with burning out