Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[hippyjingle67]

hey there all, ive been living with my partner of nearly 10 years, who has major depression. a councellor once mentioned to me that its a good idea not lose sight of the things that i enjoy doing ie crafts walking on the beach, listening to music , catching up with friends etc ect. it can be hard at times, we want to help them come out of it, but the chances of that are pretty slim, so we have to care from a distance, and not get caught up in there depression, because thats when we start getting depressed ourslves. even if this only helps one person, i will be happy with that. have a great day namaste xx

[CherryBomb]

Namaste @hippyjingle67,

Self-care is soooo important.

Similar to what you describe as 'caring from a distance', I often think about caring for others as helping someone find their way through a forest. We can carry them and their weight out of the forest, and tire ourselves out,  or we can stand beside them and point out obstacles and hurdles. This way they can find their own journey with our support, but we can also maintain our own energy. I think this can give us some distance so we can also focus on our selves too.

Can I ask  how you find do you find time to do things you enjoy?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.

[Former-Member]

Hi @hippyjingle67,

Thanks for this reminder.

The best advice I ever had is that when you do go off to do your own enjoyable things don't feel guilty. Noone can be in any way made worse off by your enjoying yourself.

peace,

Carer101.

[hippyjingle67]

hey cherrybomb, my partner sleeps a fair bit so i have spare time all the time, when ime not doing stuff with him, or when i need to have a break, i just might jump in the car and go for a drive, i also have quite a craft obsession which i havnt done for awhile so thinking about getting all that out again. i have a gf at work who i have lunch with, most of my support is down in melbourne because thats where i am from, ive been living up here for the past nearly 10 years, and originally moved up here to be with my partner

[hippyjingle67]

thank you carer101 you are absolutely right there, its also about not getting stuck in a rut because your partner is depressed

[Shaz51]

i am at a bit of a loss there as I don`t drive, so i go for a walk, and get involved in things around the house like gardening ,cleaning ,computer, internet

[hippyjingle67]

thanks so much for your input shaz51 i really appreciate it. my thing is getting away from the house because other wise we get house bound. its a shame you dont drive, darl. do you have a bus/train route close to your house. i like to do that too just get on and get off at the end then turn aroun n come back public transport can be great when its on time xx hope your feeling ok pls feel free to chat to me again when/if you need to thanks darln have a great night xx

[Shaz51]

we live an hour away from the city , we live in a small country town, I love walking down to our little town  and meeting everyone and having a chat , everyone knows everyone little town , then i go and visit my mum a few times a week which is great , thank you xx

[ideaslady]

@Shaz51 ... Hi Shaz, sounds like you live in a beautiful town. Shaz, do you like birds? If so, would you mind if I ask for a list of all the birds you know in your area?
I'm helping my son and his friend to write a book on local birds in our town (Mid NSW Coast).
We are just starting to learn about birds and any trying to learn as much as possible for the community book. Thanks Shaz 🙂

[ideaslady]

@Shaz51 ... Hi Shaz, sounds like you live in a beautiful town. Shaz, do you like birds? If so, would you mind if I ask for a list of all the birds you know in your area?
I'm helping my son and his friend to write a book on local birds in our town (Mid NSW Coast).
We are just starting to learn about birds and any trying to learn as much as possible for the community book. Thanks Shaz 🙂