Talking about not talking

[CheerBear]

Hi @TheVorticon (if I ever get annoying or what I say is not helpful please, let me know).

I hadn't seen mindspot before your post. I think I'd heard about it but that's about it. I jumped online and decided to give the quiz a go (despite how much I can flip at assessment anythings), pretty much to see and try to get an idea of what you sat through. I'm now waiting on my call too which is sort of scary (lots scary). I'm face palming myself because I ticked the 'call anytime' option. Yay for not thinking that one through much :face_with_rolling_eyes:

I found it really hard to do. I think it's really cool that you did give it a go and can now appreciate how even filling out the quiz would have been uncomfortable (maybe not the right word). I can so much understand how the inspectiony thing (which I fully felt the not funness of this week also) and that phone call colliding, would have made me feel like I definitely did not want to deal with it also, and been double yuck.

I genuinely though, think it is great you tried and also genuinely believe that sometimes these things get better/easier/more helpful, with practice.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Wow I think both of you are superly duperly brave @CheerBear and @TheVorticon. I would like to say that I will do the quiz and get a call too but...nope...I don't think that would work so well for me. I am SO impressed at your bravery. I think you are both awesome!

[TheVorticon]

Hi @CheerBear (nope, I haven’t found anything you’ve said to be annoying or unhelpful, so it’s all good there 🙂 )

Oh cool, well done for completing the quiz and thanks for joining me on the phonecall adventure! I hadn’t heard of it either until last weekend when I happened to see a random online ad for it, at precisely the right time for it to sound like a reasonable idea for me 😛 Of course, now I’ve had a pretty good week all things considered, and don’t feel like I need to do the thing. But the week before was hard, so maybe I still should see if I can do it to help future-me deal with other hard weeks.

That's annoying about the "call anytime" thing, but I get why you might have picked it especially if all times are equally inconvenient or uncertain. Macquarie Uni is an (02) area code if that helps to ID them when the call happens. Not sure if I’m allowed to post the full number that they called me from.

I’m not sure what to do now. I have to figure out if it’s worth persisting with trying to speak on the phone, or ask them to email it. Neither is ideal. I probably need to decide by Monday morning, so that I can pre-empt it if they call again then. 😕

It’s a shame that there’s no way to practise before the first practice 😛

Thanks @Phoenix_Rising I think you're awesome for identifying that it's not something that would work for you, and for persisting with the TTT saga. It doesn’t feel very brave of me to have spent yesterday avoiding the phonecall situation rather than calling back, but I suppose I’ll have to give myself credit for the brave bit before that 😛

[CheerBear]

Good evening @TheVorticon 🙂

I'm planning on winging the phone call thing, as I think it's going to depend on my mood at the time they call. Thanks for the heads up about the area code. I looked at a few of the courses and think if I did pass the screening (which in itself is a bit iffy) and if I did decide to go through with it, I'd be doing the wellbeing or PTSD course. As I'm not sure how old you are, though I know I'm original NES old and you're N64 (or Game Cube even!) old making me an antique compared to you 😛 , I'm wondering if you'd be offered the Mood Mechanic course. It says you can choose whether or not to recieve support while you're doing the course too, so there's the option of reading along and not talking about it if you go ahead. It's less scary thinking of it as an adventure (I think anyway). Maybe there's something to learn in it, maybe not, but it's hard to know without giving it a go.

I agree about the practice before the practice thing also!

As for the brave thing, maybe it was brave to not take the call until it was a better time. Sometimes anxiety tricks me into thinking I need to do things that I really don't (like take phone calls). You didn't need to take the call yesterday so you didn't. It was definitely brave to give it a go in the first place.

Big fan of the idea of doing things even when you don't feel you need to as you recognise you might benefit from knowing them if you need them in the future.

I'm keen on hearing how you get on with the call if you want to share, and how you get on with this adventure if you set off on it.

Hope tonight is going ok for you.

Oh, almost forgot - I did the update. It took forever but aside from that, it went well. I noticed paint 3D is there now (haven't opened it yet though).

🙂

[TheVorticon]

Hi @CheerBear,
I'm a couple of years outside the Mood Mechanic course age, so if I got offered one I imagine it'd be Wellbeing. (I have to laugh at the wording error they've got on that page though - "How to gain confidence by learning to safely confront things you are afraid of avoiding"... Well, I may be afraid and avoiding something, but I'm not "afraid of avoiding" it! :P) Guess I'll see if there's another call about the thing tomorrow.
Glad that your Windows update went smoothly! 🙂 I'm interested in seeing what paint 3D is like. I might have to watch some youtube 😛 I saw the promo video of it, but I'm sure the real user experience is a bit different.

[CheerBear]

Hahaha you just made me laugh lots with the afraid of avoiding things comment @TheVorticon! This could be a funny adventure if nothing else!

Lol at the youtube too rather than doing the update too 😄

Thanks for the smiles before I log off for the night 🙂

Night TheVorticon.

[CheerBear]

Hi @TheVorticon 🙂

I'm wondering how you got on with the phone call if you took it?

I got a call today from a number I didn't know. I've had to get used to answering numbers I don't know because of life happening, but sometimes I screen them. Anyway, I saw the area code and it was only after I picked up and say hello that it clicked what it was (and a heads up message from you came back to me haha).

I found the call ok enough. I get scared when assessments start talking about suicidal thoughts etc but they were careful and gentle and so was I. It was really respectful and the idea that this was all up to me was emphasised. He didn't ask any specific questions about events or life stuff that led me to seeking support, which I liked as I don't think going over specifics is helpful sometimes (often). I got the sense that if I wanted to ask for more support, they would have been happy to work out who to refer me to though.

Not surprisingly, I fell into depression, anxiety and PTSD scores so I was offered both the wellbeing and PTSD course. I mentioned that I have engaged in therapy of lots of kinds over lots of years now, and studied too, which may mean there's not a huge amount of new information but revisiting some of the things I may have forgotten might help. He said that was completely ok and that a lot of people find that also.

So off I start from Monday. At the end of the day I can stop if I want to or if it isn't helpful 🙂

Just wanted to share that and to say that I hope you're going ok TheVorticon.

[TheVorticon]

Hi @CheerBear.

Glad to hear that your call happened and went ok.

I did get another call while I was at work but didn't take it. It was a different person to the first call. So they just emailed the report. Probably for the best because even the amount of words you mentioned seems like more words than I'd have been able to put together into something sensible. But also disappointing because one of the main reasons I wanted to try this was for talking-practice.

That's cool that you're going to start it on Monday. I got offered the wellbeing one but I'm not sure if I should start it. I have a possible trip late Nov that may or may not happen which may be less than or approx 1 week... So I probably still could do it. But only if I fix my talking skills before then.

[CheerBear]

Hi @TheVorticon 🙂

I can understand why taking that call at work didn't happen for you. It's a timing one for sure.

I have sneaking suspicion that the people who do the course understand that some people struggle lots with talking. Something I found really interesting in the online "quiz" was the focus on social anxiety. Social anxiety is an issue that I haven't spent huge amounts of time considering. In being around the forum, my eyes have been opened as to how many people struggle with issues related to social anxiety and how debilitating it can be. Anyway, the inclusion of social anxiety makes me think that there will be some kind of focus on skills that might help overcome/navigate such issues (aka ways to fix talking skills) in the course. In that sense, perhaps if you do sign up a mini goal could be to take one of the phone calls at some point from the person who can call, if/when you're feeling up to it as, a means of talking-practice. One of my plus sides to phone talking is there's a big red "get out this right now" escape button if I need it 😉

In saying that, I definitely respect that it may not be right for you, or not right for you right now.

Hope it's a good kind of maybe trip? and that your day is ok 🙂

[TheVorticon]

Thanks for sharing those thoughts about it CheerBear. I'll have a think about it. I wasn't really planning on using it to get help with talking stuff, I was going to do it to get help with other stuff but do the talking stuff on my own via talking to them, if that makes sense... Maybe it doesn't.

My day had been a bit stressful but mostly ok, but I'm now pretty upset after a skype chat with my mum.