Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[ThePast]

Hi .... I’m The Past

A few weeks ago I had a trigger moment and I blew up at my Father the worst I have ever done. I have spent the time since reflecting why .... I know why but he doesn’t and I am finally going to change that. So it’s arranged  .... and I feel sick. 

Next weekend ... AKA 6 days away I plan/hope to confront my father with demons from the past. He knows somethings coming but I suspect I will catch him off guard.

I know he had a glimpse at my demon once, but he never asked me again. I was just a little kid. I suspect he was a coward. I spent the next few years growing up without him even though he was still in the house. When I started high-school he left mum and moved out ........ 

Fast forward another 30 or 40 years and on the surface there are bandaids. I know I’m blessed, lucky, fortunate, successful with a great wife (30 years this year) and 4 👍👍👍👍 kids.

But deep down inside ..... 😖🌪🤬💔  my heart is doing 110 just typing this post 

I can’t keep pretending he never met my demon and I can’t keep pretending I don’t know the truth about why he left. 

I feel in total charge of the situation and I’m Lost and shaking n a dark place 

6 days

🤷‍♂️

[Shaz51]

thinking of you lots @ThePast 

we are here for you and to let you know that you are not alone my friend 

@Jynx, @Former-Member 

[Jynx]

Thanks for the tag @Shaz51, here if you need support or need to talk @ThePast 

💜

[kttj77824]

I think I am standing in your shoes but I can't confront as my father has alzheimers so can never confront what he did.  My mother has also passed away so can't confront her and my brother is a terrible bully who would just deny.  And my poor sister passed away in her mid forties. Life is easier for some than for others but lets just hope and keep hoping that things will get better.

I wish you all the best with the confrontation, it may or may not go well, but you stood up for yourself and that is all that counts.  He does not countfor anything.

Fellow sufferer.

[tyme]

Hi @ThePast ,

I was passing by and wanted to check-in with you to see how you are. 

Anything happening that you'd like to share?

Thinking of you,

tyme