Career and postgrad ramblings

[89632523]

I've been itching to take my career to the next stage for a while. Reluctantly in a heavily marketing oriented role, I'd expected to have progressed further by now and be earning enough money to actually live comfortably for once. I'm grateful for the job that I have; it's in a sector that I care about, I have opportunities to learn and grow, and the working conditions are spectacular. But I just don't want to be doing marketing and I just need more money. I'm writing email promotions and creating social media content and I don't even like these platforms at all, I don't want to be on them, let alone creating content for them. The work doesn't have much meaning to me and the pay doesn't make it worth it. 

I know I can do more, but I lack whatever it takes to actually get myself there. I see people my age with Master's degrees and PhDs, engaging, participating, advocating, and leading in mental health and suicide prevention spaces, making what at least looks like a meaningful impact and fighting for better policy and practice responses. People who have lived experience. And I just cannot fathom how on earth they can do it. 

My Bachelor's degree literally almost killed me. I was living in financial distress, trying to balance work and study, neglecting any kind of social life and my physical and mental wellbeing. I worked 10 to 12 hours a day, every day, during the semester. And that's just what I had to do to be able to complete my degree to a standard that was acceptable to me.

Sometimes I feel like, given what I went through, I should deserve to be in a career doing work that matters more to me, earning a more livable salary. But realistically, it was just a Bachelor's degree and I'm probably in a role suitable for my competency level given I haven't done any further professional development. Most people cruise through their Bachelor's, working and studying concurrently, maintaining a social life, maintaining their health, no problem, and end up in roles at a similar level to the one I'm in. Just because it was hard for me doesn't mean I deserve more for it. Like everyone else, I have to work harder and do more to get that. 

I started looking at Master's degrees. But I can't go back to part-time work and part-time study; I can't afford it, and even if I could, I wouldn't take the risk to my mental health. I can't study one unit at a time because dragging out a degree over eight years would be absurd and impractical. I can't study full-time, without working, because that's literally impossible to do in my circumstances. I don't feel like I have any options for obtaining one. I don't know what else I can do to progress my career. I don't understand how other people who are dealing with mental health issues can do it. 

I feel like I just don't have it in me to build a life that's meaningful and comfortable, and I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to stand it.

[Ru-bee]

Hi @89632523 

Reading through this hit home with me, because this is how I felt about studying and about life in general during that time. Studying and needing to support yourself financially is EXTREMELY difficult for the majority. I know that it can seem like the majority of people are breezing through it, but I think it's more than likely a very vocal minority. Often those who are struggling do it quietly, or might prefer to outwardly have an appearance of having it together.

I can tell you during my years of studying my mental health was some of the worst its been. I was too stressed and anxious to see friends, I was only working part time so I was just barely getting by financially, and I often really struggled with motivation to study, though felt immense guilt whenever I wasn't studying. And most of all I was constantly beating myself up because of all the people who could be working full time and studying full time, or being parents and studying and just making it work, meanwhile I was struggling with my part-time study load. 

I didn't really find the path I wanted to be on until I was 25, which felt like I was so behind at the time to be starting a bachelor's degree, but looking back now feels pretty dang young. I have friends who are still trying to work it out in the 30s and beyond! There's so much pressure to have everything together and to be maximising your time, but that is just not the reality for the majority of people. It's great for those outliers, but we hear about them so much because they're the exception. 

I feel like I'm ranting a bit now, but I just want to emphasise that you're not alone in these feelings, even though I know they can feel very isolating. 

Out of curiosity, what field are you interested in moving in to?

[MissinTooth]

@89632523and @Ru-bee  this hit home for me too.

I am currently in the process of working full time and trying to study in order to take a side step in my job/career. I'm a teacher and feel as if this job may not quite fit with where I want to be and what I want to do with my life, so I'm studying Adolescent and Child Mental Health. When I started my course in Feb, I had great intentions of going on to do my Masters and becoming an accredited counsellor. I wanted/want to help children who have really struggled with their mental health. 

I'm no longer sure if I can handle...everything. Studying, life stuff and working is creating a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety and something you wrote about @89632523 hit home. You wrote about the stress and pressure you place on yourself to complete assignments and what not, to your standard. That is very relatable for me too. I have a...not sure what it is, but something that pushes me to do well and a fear of failure. 

It's difficult. If you can see it for yourself, you can achieve it, but you also...we both also need to remember that it's okay to take a different path to achieve it, it's okay to take time, it's okay to reach out and communicate what you need and maybe look at a different structure of learning and studying? 

[Semly]

Heya,

thanks for talking about study, career, working, stress and pressure.

I totally hear that you want to be doing something different and ‘more’ and feel like you also could be doing amazing work more aligned to your strengths and values. 
You sound like you could potentially be doing some of those things without a whole load of further study?? Cos you’re more skilled and experienced than you’re giving yourself credit for? But I don’t know your sector.

I had a mental health year  never anticipated last year - very not good, but I’m sure many have had worse - and after some time away from work I elected to go back to my old job (in out-of-home-care); and because I had a bit of energy and lots of optimism I also enrolled in full time postgrad study, backing down to part time work (my husband has a great job and is supportive- I still feel like I don’t deserve any of it though). 
It’s only been a couple of months and the pressure and stress shot up so fast that my mental health has tanked, I need to drop subjects and apply for fee remission - on the basis that I was ok  before hecs census date, and then decreasingly so afterwards), and I can only just drag myself in to work and am (again) a very indifferent parent … also the remaining 2 subjects feel pretty hard to focus on too. 
My optimism has evaporated and I feel like an idiot for thinking I could do it. 
Mostly I came to say f—- depression. 
But I’m grateful to you for talking about where you’re at.

I wish I had a perfect answer or solution for you.

My GP told me (I think) to get used to the idea of not achieving my potential… which has been a bitter pill to swallow. I hoped to be able to learn more, achieve more and give more to the world. 
But I’m still breathing… so it’s not over; and you sound like a very smart, committed and hardworking person, so I’m full of hope for you - if not answers or ideas right now. 
Very best wishes to everyone thinking about and trying to study and work and do new and other things. 

[Semly]

Hi there @89632523 

I hope things are going ok. 
I wanted reiterate that I’m thinking of you and hoping for some good avenyfor you to do more of what you hope to.

was thinking of some of the online options that do compressed units one at a time, lasting a ?6-8 weeks with 6 sessions per year. But still recognising that studying is a big commitment and takes energy that has to come from somewhere.

 Best wishes