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Former-Member
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Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

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Hi everyone, drinks to lour company, how are yas?

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

hi @Former-Member how are you going?

 

@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Memberhow are you guys going?

F&H did you manage a nice river walk today? also loved your dolphin pic but i cant remember where i seen it!

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Former-Member
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Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Hi @outlander, thanks, how are you? I'm angry, and freezing it is paralysing, gotta stop pretending now, get focused at getting my affairs / house in order and if something intercepts the inevitable, hope, I might ride the wave. So, to translate "holding g my own but only just" I doesn't matter anymore.

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Hey @Former-Member ..... that's lovely, thanks .....

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Hugs @Former-Member i do hope things ease for you soon.

Think i got abit of heatstroke today so just watching a movie atm

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

@Faith-and-Hope reabove msg before Lapses

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Dolphin was on Good Morning thread on LE-forum @outlander .....

Got a river walk in this morning ...., heading out for a bit now ....

💜💐 @Former-Member ......
Former-Member
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Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Walked to the letterbox today, don't want to over do things.

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Dear @silhouette

I can see that the professional @Faith-and-Hope has written to you about self care.....what else can I write??

It took me YEARS to understand self care.

My son who has recovered , my precious recovered 23 year old son suffered a malignent brain tumour from the age of 18 months old. My marriage broke up and I had no idea what self care was. So, Marriage broke up, two grieving children, one in and out of hospital regularly and......I signed up for University fulltime. 

Fast forward 10 years........my sons, my gorgeous sons have a good relaitionship with me: they treat me as their friend......truly amazing. Still don't know how to self care. I sold my home, made some bad decisons.....my son's tumour stops growing and the real begin with a disintergrating shunt in his head 4 times, countless visits to hospital from ages of him from 12 to 16 years old.

Still dont know how to self care. My oldest son goes to live with my brother East of the Coast of Australia.....

wwwwhhhhhhaaaaahhhh

:0( 

He needed a male role model. Still don't know how to self care BUT everyone is saying..... " Do you self care??' But they don't know what is self care means. I don't know what self care means..........................

Then I fell in love with a man who is diagnosed with Chronic Paranoid Schizophrenia. My youngest son moves out to give me a break and he moves in with my Mum and..........One day I realised, I was self caring the WHOLE TIME. I  was going to weekly therapy. Sometimes 3 times per week, sometimes 2 times per week, sometimes once per week. 

The whole time since I was 25 years old when I gave birth to my youngest son. I never ever appreciated what it was doing to me but I doggedly went to therapy.

And when I was about 41 years old, just before I met my darling husband.....I woke up and I decided that I would NEVER LET anyone put me down. I would NEVER laugh at myself. I was a wonderful precious lady. 

I've finished with eh therapy, my Psychotherapist that I had for about 16 years, started three times per week, ...............still writes to me to say hello. I love her very much.  She loves both of us very much too. 

I can't afford to see her anymore though ......I think that shes cutting down from seeing people anyway.

Out of this self care. I do a LOT of craft, art and sewing. I am crochetting now. I'll never be thin ...but am fleshy bouncy and decided to get a lapband when my youngest son got better........before the lapband, I was weighing lots and lots because I was just eating with no understanding of my body .....it was like.....when my sons were little..... I thought my limbs were not attached to my body for years and years and years. 

I think it's about me having a PeppiPatty day. My husband makes me cups of tea and is supposedly supposed to care for me. 

How would you self care? I think that group therapy that is very very well facilitated is a very good thing to do. I also think that SAne Forums is a life saver.......

My husband and me go to fortnightly therapy.......we know that we need more than a 'hospital's decision on our relationship." We work hard and are very motivated to stay together.......

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Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Wow @PeppiPatty I found your story (what you wrote) inspiring...

I've had 13 years of weekly therapy (so far), spanning 22 years (I had a break  of 9 years in between).

I still don't really understand self-care very well, when people talk about it.

But like you said, I have really been doing self-care (to some extent) all along...

My Therapist says that Trauma Therapy is a long process (I know it is) - it can be so frustrating sometimes, because it seems like I'm making no progress.

But as my psychologist reminds me, I've come a long way.

I'm very different from how I was years ago, it's just that I don't see it (until it's pointed out to me)...

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