Hello Mazy
@Mazarita,
I didn't know anti-inflammatory's could affect the moods, I guess any medication can affect individuals in any manner. Now you've got me thinking, I did run out for a few days, I didn't think anything of it, but it did coincide with my little hic-up with the center of my Universe - maybe they affect me in a positive way, merely the alleviation of discomfort. How did the anti-inflammotory's affect you? I also suffered nausea for almost a year due to neuro-biological disorders, I don't think that's the way to go either. I feel for your fear and dread, I think the worst feeling is helplessness - and that your own body is causing this {I understand that a little}, how less helpful can a person feel? There are always new med's, though I worry that they will have new affects, particularly being mixed with your psych ones; but it's always good to think positively, maybe the combination will kick in your natural high and you will be editing videos that are the best you've ever done before you know it 🙂
My Mother had a large section of her bowel removed, I remember discovering that it was one of the most painful operations to recover from, as it goes through the abdominal muscles. That you've been through 2 of those surgeries must be a cruel memory. My Mothers surgery saved her life for a while, did you eventually feel better for having those operations? Does meditation or natural remedies help? I'm imagining you've tried everything, and that you will use a combination of anything that helps. Have you heard of the new fad, I think it's called 'eye-staring'; it's odd for someone like me who has such a fear/mistrust of people, the thought of staring into a strangers eyes really appeals to me 🙂 I think it's supposed to stimulate the brain, a bit like neuo-plasticity?
Thank-you for hearing me about the center of my Universe You are right, they are adults and I can find positivity in the fact that they can make there own decisions, good and bad. I see that they are living their own lives, and believe that cannot be a bad thing. Just as my child can make their own decisions, so can I; and just because those decisions are different doesn't make either of them wrong.
Strengthening the love in the stream
Niqua
Warning: more medical stuff.
Hi Niqua,
Lovely to get your long message this morning. 
The anti-inflammatories I'm referring to are a steroid medication, stronger than the usual anti-inflammatory and with a much nastier side effect profile, known to trigger bipolar. But I love your suggestion of a different med that might instead swing me into genius video making. 
I will be negotiating the treatments carefully, but for some reason I find it difficult to stand up for myself with these things with doctors of this kind. I have had a far better time of it with psychiatrists than with gut specialists. For example, when I was trying to talk to one of my gastros about the severe depression I was experiencing while on this aforementioned medication, she answered, 'have a baby, then you won't have time to be depressed'. 
The surgeries I've had were the most effective of all treatments I've had for Crohns. They were very hard to go through, especially the first one that had me in hospital for six weeks. But they have given much more lasting relief. Where I seem to have the inflammation now though is not an area that can be surgically removed without disastrous consequences. I've been meditating, sometimes in a formal way, sometimes ad hoc, since I first got the disease 37 years ago. It has helped, though I'm obviously still a worry wort. You should have seen what I was like then though. The inner stress and emotional conflicts I put myself through back then were intense.
I went through a long (and expensive) phase of trying natural remedies and therapists. They were simply not strong enough to deal with seriously inflamed and scarred intestine.
I have done that 'eye staring' you mention when I was a drama student. It was fantastic. I hope some of that fad comes this way.
You may be onto something there with the idea that neither you nor your child and partner are wrong.
Wonder what you have been up to lately aside from worrying, hehe. And what's happening today. I've had a few hours sleep after an all-nighter working on video and otherwise fluffing around. Still have the blinds drawn. I'll open them before long. But for now I'm enjoying the peace and quiet of sitting here in my nightie still, deferring the start of this day. That's okay, you might agree, sometimes withdrawal feels replenishing.
In any case your post inspired me to reach out to you in this closed in flat this morning. Love and warmth to you.
@Former-Member
Ho are you both ? @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear hello,hello ! Hello @Former-Member how are you ? My name is @PeppiPatty.....I've been on break for a while.......
It's so good to 'see you all, look at @Mazarita giving her very focused care.......
and @Mazarita needing it.
@PeppiPatty You been AWOL for ages girlie, but we love you coming back.
What a totally dumb thing for that gut lady to say.
It takes time and energy to flick off all those random comments we collect over the years.
