MAD[Mightily Anxious & Depressed] seeking any support

[kristin]

Hi Diatriber,

I don't know how I missed your response and question. My apologies for not responding sooner.

What changed a couple of years ago? I guess a lot of things, including barely escaping having a nervous breakdown. I think one of the things which changed was someone I had not long met (who has become a friend) said to me that if I never allowed anyone to see who I was then they never got the chance to appreciate me, and maybe I should just take that risk (this in repy to my fears of being judged). I thought about that a lot; and, as I began to see some of the gifts that I have been given as a result of surviving with a MI, I started to shift my view.

I guess I've had a fairly counter-cultural view for about 15+ years, and it has become more so as time passed. About 2 years ago I began to see the value in my own life-journey, to myself and others. I realised I am a survivor, and I have sat with enough of my own pain to be able to sit with others in theirs. This is something both important and rare. Something I can offer to the world. These days I tend to be circumspect about my diagnosis for my kids' sakes, as small rural communities can be very into the leprosy treatment for MI, and I don't want anyone telling my prep her mum's a nut case. She has enough to deal with. Yet I am quite open about my diagnoses when I sense that this might help normalise someone else's experience.

I hope this explains a bit. 🙂

Best regards,

kristin

[kristin]

PS You are most welcome to use the FITH idea, she would be tickled pink that others can get some mileage from it!

Calm, faith and working. Good things to have going for you. When you are feeling in the sh- remind yourself: this too will pass. Try working on adding some self-compassion to the mix. It was one of the things that made a huge difference to me last year after I did an Acceptance and Commitment therapy course with Eastern CASA. There are good reasons why we struggle, it is just that often we don't have enough puzzle pieces to show us the picture of why until much later. In the meantime be gentle with yourself. 🙂

[kristin]

Hi Annabelle,

I think you are doing incredibly well if you hold down a job 2 days a week. I have bipolar (mostly at the depressive end of the scale) and I struggle to make meals too. (Strangely if I'm cooking for someone else who's having a hard time it's much easier for me to cook for my family, is that strange?) I haven't been able to work in paid employment since before my son was born (over 17 years ago), even before that I struggled.

I think that having to hide a MI takes a huge amount of energy too. I don't know that "normal" even exists - I think we all have our issues and those of us (like you) who admit them are more honest. I've known families who put on a wonderful show for others but underneath it all there's a deep level of dysfunction.

It's good to have you joining in. Hopefully you'll find it helpful too. Take care.

Best regards,

Kristin

[kristin]

Well said ml. Thanks. We really need to hear those messages, as there is so much negativity around which seems to eat away at our sense of self and inherent value.

[BatGuano]

Thanx kristin,

I usually get a lot of self-compassion, acceptance, and self-caring from my religion.  So thankyou for wishing well for me.  I'm Buddhist, which suits me.  I have had a meditation practice for a while.  Becoming calm and keeping calm is part of that.

Also there is a goddess (kind of) who I can turn to for loving-kindness and compassion.  Guan Yin or Guan Shi Yin, bless her.

[Alessandra1992]

I love ACT. It brings mindfulness and metaphors together and really helps turn off the struggle switch with unpleasant feelings and thoughts. It is one therapy that I am really keen to save up and attend workshops as Dr Russ Harris's books The Happiness Trap and The Reality Slap have been transformative for me.
This year he ran a workshop in Hawthorn Victoria to raise funds for the Stroke Foundation, $75 for the Workshop.
Hoping he runs one that cheap again in 2015..
I still view the Foundation Workshop I did 2 years ago as the best training I have ever attended, and the most practical..
Managed to convince my uni lecturer to attend and I think he finally got why I rave about ACT so much!

[kristin]

Hi Alessa (is that ok to shorten your name? I realise i've been doing it a bit with various people, and I hate having mine shortened!),

Yes I've just scratched the surface with it, but it has made a huge difference. You are so right - it is such a relief to realise you don't need to fight with yourself over the pain, anxiety, etc.

If he does do another one next year can you post it on here please? I'm about 1.5hours drive from Hawthron (or any inner Melbourne) but it would be worth the drive.

Best regards,

Kristin

[Diatriber79]

Hi Kristin

You are doing really good things on here, I see the way you're helping people. Sharing your wisdom in a down to earth way is one of the best methods of helping others I think, especially as you're speaking from experience. I like your counter cultural reference, I can relate to that 🙂 If you can keep normalising what are actually not abnormal experiences[!] as you say, then it will improve for everyone. Thank you again.

[Alessandra1992]

Will do Kristin as it is rare to find such an awesome toolbox, with such an open, honest and engaging person like Russ Harris.
In the meantime, for anyone who is also interested in finding out more, ask your local library to order copies of The Happiness Trap or The Reality Slap!

[kristin]

Hi there,

Thank you for your beautiful encouraging message. I really appreciate it ! 

To be honest the more I understand about mental illness the more I am convinced that MI is actually a completely normal and healthy response to terrible circumstances. MIs don't occur in a vacuum, and just because we don't consciously hold all the pieces at any given time in our lives doesn't mean that there isn't a very good reason for the illness(es).

For example I have been suffering from severe and chronic depression since I was 16, I'm now 51. Up until 5 years ago I had a bunch of pieces to a puzzle that never fit together in a picture which made sense of my depression. After the trauma of the 2009 Victorian bushfires a memory that I have remembered all my life blew my world to pieces - because I finally actually understood it with an adult view. I had never even realised before that the memory had always been in a mental "glass box" beheld with a child's-eye view. This was a central piece, and I have been putting pieces together in a new way ever since.

It hasn't been forensics, that's too scientific. It's more like collage: gentle, sometimes painful, often surprisingly beautiful and poignant, and definitely a journey. One of the gifts has been the realisation of how much we have to offer each other and the world with a profoundly counter-cultural world-view.

Kind regards,

Kristin