26-10-2019 05:42 PM
Thankyou so much for checking in ... I've been hectic with work and some great positive progress with MsS ... her third session with new psychiatrist this week went well - esp because we r back in the DONT leave the house stage of depression isolation ... psych has enrolled MsS in a day program to assist with socialisation and lifting the depression and adjusted meds too to help out .. I have committed to driving MsS to her program each week and will work remotely with my laptop those days - driving is hit and miss with the med change and ongoing headaches ... MsS also struggling with deteriorating vision - part age part other ?? So we r a bit step by step here lately but doable and low drama so I'm reasonably happy .. also I've been able to start swimming once a week again and playing cello again so I'm a happy camper - gotta go now but will check in your threads tonight when I get home to catch up the news - hope you are ok and wish you both a pleasant evening x
29-10-2019 09:34 PM
Hoping the swimming means there has been some pain relief for you @Sophie1.
Trust Ms S responds to medication tweakage and day program proves beneficial.
17-11-2019 12:53 AM - edited 17-11-2019 12:55 AM
just had a horrible week - work was overwhelming and stressful ... so I got a head cold ... had to take wed-fri off work and then today one of my close relatives had a nasty extended rant at me over text message ... 😖 because they found out I was still communicating with their ex spouse ... apparently that was super offensive to them ... I was so caught off guard - I knew their spouse for 6+ years while they were together and found it hard to just disconnect when they separated ... but it upset my relative so much I promised to disconnect to avoid further upset ... I know I didn't have to do that but honestly the amount of anger took me by surprise and I don't want more arguments or any tension so I backed down and said I'd do as they asked ... hmmmmf feel so upset ... not about losing that relationship with the ex cos it wasn't that close at all ... just pleasant acquaintance really ... just upset how my relative spoke to me so aggressively .... I hate conflict and am always shocked when others curse so much during arguments and the hurtful things that are said
has anyone else found people during a separation / divorce process this sensitive ?? How do I relate to this relative at Christmas functions this year after the horrible way they spoke to me on these text messages ??
17-11-2019 01:26 AM
Hi @Sophie1 ... 💕
I am sorry you have experienced such an uncomfortazble andaggreasive reactiin from your relative. It’s something I can definitely relate to from my in-law relationships.
Here is what I would like to suggest, but of course it’s up to you ....
Perhaps leave it a few weeks until a fortnight before Christmas, to give a chance for the emotions involved to subside, and the relative might actually apologise to you, or otherwise extend an olive branch.
Failing that, I would carefully structure a text response that is polite, but coolly formal, letting them know that you have respected their wishes and refrained from any further connection with their former spouse, however you are saddened and disappointed by the way they communicated with you about it, and out of your own self-respect would like them to know that you found the tone and aggression of their communication with you unnecessary and hurt fully so. As a result you intend to attend the Christmas occasions but ask that they keep a respectful manner about your time in the same company.
offering you this advice is more about you considering how you feel about the suggestion, and how you might respond in a way that feels authentic to you, if what I have suggested doesn’t work for you.
Take care of you .... 🌷
17-11-2019 01:37 AM
Thankyou so much @Faith-and-Hope for the advice - I think some time to take the heat out is a great idea and I will definitely think about your suggestion - I am not ok with people talking / texting me aggressively... I've just never really found a way to express this - has only ever happened a few times to me and each has been so different ...anyway I need to sleep now and Thankyou so much again - sigh ... I wish people were easier to manage all round - so easy to upset each other sigh ... fragile creatures we all are
17-11-2019 01:49 AM - edited 17-11-2019 01:50 AM
@Sophie1 some people presume to bully others when they feel hard done by, and having stayed in a bullying environment for some time as the seemingly best option amongst not-great ones, I have found it important to find a cool but firm way of stating the obvious, and saying that it is inappropriate and unacceptable, and placing boundaries around it ....
If this helps you, and anyone else reading along, then it has just increased in value beyond my personal situation.
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