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11-10-2015 12:00 AM
11-10-2015 12:00 AM
What next please?
Hi there.
My son is 23 and i am not actually sure of his diagnosis. Past history is ptsd and severe anxiety from serious accident and legal consequences of accident at 18 years old. At 21 began heavy marihijuana use followed by first episode psychosis 2 years ago. Past 2 years is on and off antipsychotics, involuntary hospitilisation, recent voluntary hospitilisation. He has reduced his marijuana use dramatically and for past 3 weeks has been taking meds only because I am handing it to him daily to take. Past few years many offers of help from all services available but he does not utilise ANY services available. He was discharged from private clinic and public system and now we are on our own again. He does not want to reconnect with public services and case worker again. His communication is improving each day but he is isolated from people, spends 24/7 at home and barely talks to us.
If we ask how he is feeling, we barely get an answer and often repeats the question and throws it bavk at us. He is well educated and extremely intelligent and we all find him very challenging to talk to.
What is my next step and how do i present services like head space and other organisations to him? I feel a mentor may be helpful as he has many goals but is stuck on how to move forward. How can i get him involved with other prople do he is not so aline this world?
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11-10-2015 12:12 AM
11-10-2015 12:12 AM
Re: What next please?
Glad your son is reducing smoking and at least taking his medication ...
maybe the "how are you feeling" question "feels" confrontational to him at this stage ... maybe talk about how you are feeling about an issue or generalise
My son has been resistant to services until his breakdown and now he "tolerates" it.
I was quite desperate to get son out of house for about 6 years and kept trying to find things to socialise him ... eventually with some success .... tho he has a low need for socialising ...luckily he ended up having a work ethic to a level that surprised me and he has worked part-time steadily for last 4 years ... for a year mind you I drove him to work at 5am 5 days per week and it was his job to get home ...
I dont really know any other way than to love them and do soft and tough love as they discover the logical consequences and limitations of life ... I have settled for viable ... with some good moments
Good Luck
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11-10-2015 08:52 AM
11-10-2015 08:52 AM
Re: What next please?
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11-10-2015 08:56 AM
11-10-2015 08:56 AM
Re: What next please?
Hi and welcome to the forum.
Managing mental health issues that affect our children is not for the fainthearted. I wanted to draw your attention to the good things that you've written about because we have a tendancy to overlook these. You said he had a "recent voluntary hospitalisation" - I see this as a very encouraging sign. The fact that he agreed voluntarily to be admitted to hospital is great because it translates into wanting help. You've also said that he has "reduced his marijuana use dramatically" - this is another very postive and encouraging sign. For someone who was a heavy user, this is courageous to do and reflective of his desire to help himself. You said "His communication is improving each day" - again another positive and promising thing. All these things are very positive and promising indicators that your son is trying to sort himself out.
I am sure that he would have been given the talk whilst in hospital about appropriate ongoing therapy/support together with a discharge plan (as is normally the case). The fact that he has chosen to not engage in other services is his choice and for now I would say respect this choice and allow him to progress and find his way through this with what feels right for him. He clearly has a lot of things going on for him right now and perhaps he is more comfortable with processing this alone. As long as he is safe, not getting worse and is making positive progress, that is the most important thing. Right now he is adjusting to not using marijuana and focusing on using meds only. That is a big thing. Give him time to adjust and allow his mood to stablilise. Hopefully over time this will see more improvements.
My 16 yo son suffers with severe depression/anxiety. He rarely leaves his room, hasn't attended school for most of this year, is non-communicative and not not interested in the simplest things that would be good for him. Sometimes I allow this to upset me. I want him to get out; to breath fresh air, see sunshine, socialise, get an education etc. When this happens I pull back and look at the good things - he still goes to weekly therapy, he takes his medication willingly and regularly, he see's a psychiatrist bi-monthly and he has a desire to go to school and is willing to be voluntarily admitted to hospital. When I do this I shift my perspective and realise that he is actually doing a lot to help himself and although it falls short of what I would like to see, or what other's have suggested, I have to be content with the fact that this is what it is for now.
In the meantime you need to look after yourself. Ensure that you also get some time-out, get as much support as you can and try to remain positive.
Take care
Janna ❤️
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11-10-2015 09:11 AM
11-10-2015 09:11 AM
Re: What next please?
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11-10-2015 09:32 AM
11-10-2015 09:32 AM
Re: What next please?
[quote] A year ago he was talking to angels (still does but not as much) not eating, not sleeping, smoking copious amounts and was very angry. Today he is sleeping regularly, eating, taking his meds, off the cigarettes, reducing his cannabis use and there has been no arguing in the home for months. [/quote]
WOW, this is really encouraging and hopeful. Well done to him. Also very glad to hear that you're also looking after you.
Hope your feeling a little bit better and more optimistic in light of all the positives.
Janna ❤️
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11-10-2015 08:13 PM
11-10-2015 08:13 PM
Re: What next please?
Getting a dog would not be another friend for him but also joking a dog club would encourage him to mix with others ...good discipline for both him and the dog
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11-10-2015 08:29 PM
11-10-2015 08:29 PM
Re: What next please?
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11-10-2015 08:42 PM
11-10-2015 08:42 PM
Re: What next please?
She is actually a Parsons Jack Russell... A great friend and company for my mother as well... Something for my mother to focus on besides just each other..,,Cheers Allan
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11-10-2015 08:49 PM
11-10-2015 08:49 PM