AUD

[yggdrasil]

Hey all,

I need a bit of support from my fellow veterans. I have severe AUD and had several interventions, AWOs, been scheduled and had long admissions. I usually manage for a while and then relapse, especially when I have major changes to my life. I started relapsing a couple of months ago after being sober for over two years and really struggle to get back on track. It’s a viscous cycle. Anyone else fighting with this? I know all my meds will be out of whack again and am worried about interventions at some stage but it just feels like a losing battle. Thanks.

[Magpie22]

oh that sounds really hard, but good on you for reaching out. 
Booze isn’t a problem for me, but it is for my partner. Although I did struggle massively when I was trying to quit smoking. As soon as something happened or stress builds up, it feels like a release to go back to those familiar habits. 
But - two years sober is great. That’s a massive achievement.
What I do know about AUD is it’s really hard to beat it on your own so kudos for reaching out for support here. What things have helped you stay off the grog previously? Is there something you can start up again? My kid was struggling with the pokies big time and found GA really helpful - not sure if AA is something you’ve tried and found useful? There are some apps around now too. Whatever you do, I do know that the sooner you get help, the sooner you can start to recover.  

But I mostly came here to say you are not alone. And it’s not a losing battle - it’s just a really fkn HARD battle. 

[Magpie22]

Just checking in @yggdrasil about how you have been feeling? I hope you feel a bit more in control today. 

[yggdrasil]

Hi Magpie,

thank you, I didn’t see your message. Not doing really great with the booze. I did AA for a while but couldn’t get my head around the greater power and I didn’t find it motivating.

how are you? 

[Magpie22]

Sorry to hear @yggdrasil 

When I was quitting the smokes I had an app that helped - I wonder if there’s something similar for AUD? Although I think AUD one of those things that usually needs professional support. Just remember that you have fought this battle before and won - it just sucks you have to fight it again. 

As for me, I’m doing ok today. I am doing a cool project at work which is good because it’s interesting but also means I need to focus hard - which is always exhausting. 

[Azalea]

Hi @yggdrasil 

I feel for you, addiction in any form is awful. Mine was prescription medication misuse, and I had a few inpatient stays that were very helpful, however when I returned "home" I came unstuck every time. I didn't realise until I left that toxic marriage that it was the main cause. I was using them as a bandaid, to numb me from the extremely unhappy and isolated life I was living. Living isnt the right word, I was just existing as a shell. I found an amazing psychiatrist who helped me withdraw off them for good, he strongly encouraged me to start working out again and the flow on effect was me finding new hobbies and making friends, then I decided to start studying and using my brain again and once my life had more meaning and purpose it was much more positive and over time there was no need to numb myself any more. 

Bear in mind this is all said with hindsight over 5 years later and after a LOT of therapy and really hard work. It's definitely not easy and I'm sorry you're feeling stuck right now. 

[Magpie22]

@Azalea Well done on five years! Massive kudos to you 

totally agree that sometimes until you sort out some of the things that are going on at the same time it’s hard to tackle the addiction. 

[0ddsidian]

Hey @yggdrasil, 

So proud of you for sharing this. There's so much stigma attached to substance use, so even just posting this is huge. The best lesson I learnt about anything relating to substance use is that it's pretty much always a coping strategy for something crappy.

I think relapse can be part of the cycle for anything we want to change about our behaviour, including reaching for grog.

We're actually going to be doing a webinar this month on substance use and mental health. It's not specific to veterans. Any thoughts on what you'd like to see covered? Can't guarantee that it will be, but always good to know exactly what our community wants to hear about.

Ideas welcome from anyone else too @Magpie22 @Azalea 

[yggdrasil]

Thanks guys for the replies.

oddsidian, apart from still struggling to understand addiction id really like to get an idea about how to navigate addiction when everything can trigger. Alcohol, smoking, prescription medications are all over movies and it gets glorified and is such an important part of our culture. That beats me, especially with drinking as it’s so available and people always question why I don’t drink. It’s toxic, just like smoking or taking drugs and whilst there are celebrations if someone is smoke free or drug free, alcohol abstinence raises eyebrows. I don’t get that. I don’t get either what the pill popping is supposed to do, it’s not like it’s addressing health issues in most cases, it’s just ‘if you’re stressed, pop a pill. It honestly beats me. 

[Magpie22]

@yggdrasil Totally hear you about alcohol being such a part of our culture. 

I really don’t drink much at all (a lot of that is because of my partner’s drinking) but people find it so bizarre that I choose not to drink. I think having some ideas about how to respond to that would be great in a webinar @0ddsidian . We don’t all want to say to people why we are not drinking but people feel like it’s ok to question you or challenge you. I used to say stuff like I was driving or on antibiotics or had an early start. Now I’m a bit older and give way less shits, I just say I don’t enjoy it. But then if I do have a drink people are all like “haha! So you DO drink”.  

Do you have some trusted people close to you @yggdrasil that can run interference and be a wing person  at social events and change the subject or shut down a conversation if you need to? Sometimes it’s really hard to ask for help but the people who love us sometimes just need to know how to help and then they are right on it.