4 days sober. Counselling started.

[DahliaDreams]

@Starbelle ,

I remember one particularly difficult time in my life where I took a flask of wine to the cinema and sat there drinking it while watching a movie. I've noticed a lot more cinemas are selling booze to their customers these days so they probably thought they may as well cash in on all the secret sippers. 

If you would like to talk about being alone this Christmas, I am here. Christmas can be such a challenging time. I am happy to talk about anything, but I don't want to intrude at all. 

@pangolin thank you for checking in. It's actually Starbelle who has been celebrating sobriety - Starbelle started this discussion. Personally, I have not been sober for 4 days myself and hence you could not call my drinking yesterday a 'relapse' exactly. 

Anyway, I have been sober for about 14 hours, which is pretty good for me. Thank you for the resources. 

[J_Oz]

Hi @Starbelle 

I don't know if you'll agree with me, but I think we're all addicted to some form of comfort.  I think drinking is one of the more exposed excesses, but probably not in the least one of the more aggregious to the people around us.

I was thinking of how our community has so many fractures and how the hierarchy of socio-economic groups layer upon each other.  My thought was how indifferent people can be to the suffering of others.  And looking at how we vote in elections, or how groups vilify others less fortunate, makes me wonder how these participants can turn a blind eye to the obvious injustices that we are all part of.  My guess is that there is an unhealthy need for comfort and a compulsive need to avoid anxiety.  These motivations are likely an obsessive addiction, much more cruel in the effects within our society than an addiction to alcohol or drugs.  The latter is much rarer to cause injustice within our society.

And since you are.so exposed, you'll have to use your courage and honesty to resolve this addiction to complete your story.

The general malaise of indifference and compulsive addiction to avoid anxiety has very little pressure for this same self reflection, and so is not likely to be exposed in the same way and can avoid the need to be as honest and courageous as you.

Good luck for your journey.

Regards

J.

[DahliaDreams]

Hi @J_Oz and @Starbelle 

@J_Oz I understand what you are saying I think.

There are so many things we can become addicted to - all in an attempt to soothe ourselves. I think work is a big addiction for some - I have known quite a few people with that addiction. 

Then there is food - always available, it always temporarily makes you feel better. And caffeine too - a lot of people need that just to function, but it's considered normal in our culture. 

Then there are 'other people' - some of us are addicted to relationships, never wanting to be alone and get to know themselves. Putting up with all kinds of mistreatment just so we won't be alone. I probably did that in the past.

Alcohol and drugs - including prescription drugs. Say no more.

I suppose addiction can be for anything that you crave which temporarily does make you feel better, but ultimately, it's not good for you and your life suffers as a result of it. 

[Starbelle]

Hi @J_Oz 

I think that unhealthy desire for comfort is so accepted and normalised in capitalist society. You’re right, not many people examine how this impacts the suffering of others (or the environment, other species). I agree that the root of our addictions lies in avoiding discomfort! I often say I’m an escape artist - using alcohol to escape feelings and truths I’m not wanting to face.

Today I’m enjoying some simple comforts 😊 Coffee on the balcony after a morning walk.

@DahliaDreams How are you today, lovely? It’s day 7 for me! I’m feeling very positive 🌸 

[DahliaDreams]

Hello @Starbelle 

congratulations on 7 days of sobriety. That's a huge achievement. 🙂🌻 I hope you had a nice walk. 

I am going pretty well today. I slept in until 7 am - this is rare for me as I often wake up at 5am. I must have been relaxed to sleep for that long. My body and mind seem to be coordinated right now, my mind is relatively calm and my body is not giving me any anxiety symptoms. 

I am trying to write a list of what I have to get together for Xmas. I am saying out loud that I am not at all bothered by Xmas, but I think that underneath I am not looking forward to it at all. I will be in the kitchen all day, but I'd rather be cooking than have to socialize, even though it is with my own family. 

I find a lot of people talking at once very confusing and I feel put on the spot to say the right thing. I tend to shut down and just hide as much as I can. Kitchens are good for hiding in. 

Also, I think some members of my family are judging me, even though they wouldn't see it that way. I am thinking of my sis, who I love incredibly, who a few times has said demeaning things to me - not completely awful, but demeaning. 

I might have to let myself sit with some of these thoughts today and maybe do some journaling.