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Something’s not right

New Contributor

Feeling Hopeless and sad

Hello Guys,

I really do not what to do. It is very sad to see my ex sufferring. I found out that he has major depression few years ago!

I started contacting my ex bf 2 weeks ago to say Happy Birthday to him and I noticed something is not right. He seems very down and have delusions and keep on talking about past life affecting this life and he need to undo the knots the life.

I became very worried and concerned of his wellbeing when I met him. He does not look right, paranoid and thinks that people are hacking into his phone and mind. 3 nights ago was the worst. He send me a message and said he does not want to stay at home. When I rang him, he was crying. When I asked him why he was crying, he said nothing. He suddenly said I am not been honest with him. He said I am not at work and I was. So, I decided to face time him on his iphone and he was reasurred. He thinks that I am part of a biochemical group that have done something to him, stole his DNA and use for croning. That night, I asked him to come over my place for dinner because my brother and I are both registered nurses. He agreed but changed his mind 10 mins before I areive at his place. So, convince him to let me go to his okace and at the end he agreed. But, he was so paranoid that I do beling to the biomedical research team, kept thinking that someone is spying in him, seeing cables hanging down the roof which I cannot see. When he hear a car noise he gets very paranoid. He looked very unstable that night. I used a soft tone and stayed calm the whole night and he settled alot at the end. I started talking about my oast depression and cried and told him that I cared about him alot as a good friend and I am very concern of his well being. He started to cry and told me some of his past relationship traumas. He does not admit that he has oast depression or other mental illness. But, he cried when I say could you be depressed? His symptoms are talks very fast, irritable, paranoid, does not look calm, bottom jaw move in and out in a abnormal way, a distinct herb or drug smell on his body and breathe, laugh ar the TV when nothing is really funny, talks to people online about universe, mood swings, go to his bedroom after midnight for 5-10 mins and will return with his eyelids looks sleepy and keep changing his decision amd mind. Once, he looked at me with a phsychotic look and asked what did you guys do with my DNA. He also believes that he was a famous chinese doctor in his passt life and this life he will study chinese medicine and will help people in the community, especially elderly.

He has been neglected by his parents during his childhood and not alot of love and care feom his family and 2 weeks ago he broke up with his bf and this seems to be the trigger.

I am very concern that he may be more than depression. Not sure, if it may involve drugs. Last night when I tried to talk to him more, he got aggitated and ask me to leave. When I want to leave, he asked me to stay abit longer.

He told me that he knows that I do care for him and ask me not to worry about him. But, he is really not right.

How can I help him if he is not going to tell me about his mental illness and he also only believes in chinese medicine. I cried when I get home. It hurts alot! i rang his cousin and she said she does not give a f.... about him as she is also stress! Last night he told me that he wanted to be alone.

Not applicable

Re: Feeling Hopeless and sad

Hi @myex

After reading your post I can understand your concerns - it definitely sounds like more than depression is going on there and that psychosis could be occurring. It's important for him to be assessed as it could get worse if left untreated. Yes drug abuse can also do this and is also a possible trigger. Some use this as a way of self medicating when ill and/or to numb pain when feeling hurt/abandoned (which has happened to your ex), and as ways to cope with their emotional pain and mental anguish rather than talk about it - which makes any existing mental health issues worse. By your description of your ex it does sound like this could be occurring.

If you see any signs of your ex bf being at risk to himself or deteriorating rapidly you can call a mental health crisis team to go visit him and assess - to get him the help he needs as it sounds like he may lost insight into his condition. I know this is not easy to do (have had to do it myself) but getting hi. the right treatment enhances his quality of life and could potentially save his life. Hope it all works out for your ex soon. He is lucky to have someone like you who cares so.

Re: Feeling Hopeless and sad

Hello @myex and welcome to the forums!

Like @Former-Member has mentioned, it does sound like there could be more than depression going on with your ex, possibly psychosis. Also, like @Former-Member said, drug use can trigger these symptoms.

Caring for someone with these kinds of symptoms can be very hard. It sounds like you are doing a really good job of being supportive. You mentioned staying with him all night and talking in a soft tone helped to soothe him, and that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with him by sharing your experiences of depression.

It's very difficult to help someone who doesn't feel anything is wrong, but @Former-Member is right in that if you are concerned for his or another person's safety, the mental health crisis team can be helpful.

Don't forget to look after yourself while you are supporting him, and keep reaching out for support Smiley Happy


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