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Looking for guidance

I am in a relationship with someone who has an undiagnosed mental illness. It is undiagnosed as every time the GP gives a referral to a psychiatrist she doesn’t go. That said she and I believe she has bipolar and the GP has had her on mood stabilising drugs and anti depressants which she started taking regularly and got to the point where she was able to function to the point of getting children from school or doing a small shopping trip.


She comes from a dysfunctional family on the East coast (father jailed for dealing meth, lots of violence etc). She has 4 children, two live on the east coast and the youngest two with us on the West coast. 


For the the past six months she has gradually been getting better as mentioned previously, but last week on a whim and driven by guilt of abandoning her oldest two children she booked flights for her and the younger two children. She had arranged for a friend to meet her at the airport and to be living with her friend. The problem was the flight totally overwhelmed her and she broke down. Apparently it got to the point where the flight attendants told her if she did not calm down they would divert the flight. She got to the airport and was unable to get from the gate to the baggage claim without my help over the phone, all the time I could hear hear literally screaming abuse at strangers and the kids. I have a relative who happened to be in the city and he drove an hour to the airport. She was unable to leave the building and he had to find her. She phoned me telling me that men were deliberately taunting her, but my relative says she would see someone (man) and then go and start screaming and swearing at them. So I guess paranoid behaviour. 


She is now on the east coast with family and desperate to come home to me. She says that the one child has stopped talking (he is 5) and keeps crying for me. I want her home, I know her family love her but they are more likely to give her meth than mental health help (she does not take meth, she left to escape a family entwined in it all originally).


My problem is that it is too much for me to do alone. Due to her history child protection were involved but despite my pleas not to they closed the case, and also they are not setup to provide the kind of support we need. I am looking for answers as I want her home, but I am not prepared to bring her without some sort of plan in place. There are three highly traumatised people to look after ( her and the two children). I don’t have a support network as my family are overseas.


Re: Looking for guidance

@Neverland  Hi Neverland and welcome to the forums. I am so sorry that you are in this predicament ..... have you got family members that can help you deal with this when your partner and children return? It sounds like you both need alot of help .... supportive family would be wonderful if they are available on your end. 


You really have to get her and the children out of that environment but to be honest I am at a loss as to how you should go about it .... without calling up government departments which I understand you are loathe to do. I am sorry I cannot be of more help except to let you know that I am feeling your pain and hope that you find a way around this and get both her and the children back safe and sound. greenpea


Re: Looking for guidance


Thanks I have some family here. I have involved government departments and it gets complicated more quickly than I thought. In law a meth addict family member is higher up the tree than I am and so the ‘system’ keeps her there if she goes in.


It is a mess and at this point I have switched to trying to preserve my own mental well-being. 


Re: Looking for guidance

hello @Neverland  and welcome to the forum Heart

remember to put a @ in front of memebers names so they will get your message

@greenpea, @Darcy , @Sophie1 

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