Manic

[snowflake231]

Hey everyone,

so it's not even 5am and I'm wide awake  

yep I'm manic. This bipolar business suxs. But I'm sort of enjoying myself. I was so depressed for the longest time and it wasn't pretty. So now I'm enjoying myself that I'm happy. I just hope it doesn't ruin me. I don't know why I just can't be normal for a change. I'm either depressed or manic. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.  

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. The house is clean, wardrobes are reorganised and decluttered, everything is dusted and clean but I'm just so full of energy I can't sit still and I wish there was more I could do. I won't go for a walk as that is just too unproductive in my mind. I live walking distance to the shops so I walk there everyday which is nice. 

I've been looking into joining a club but I can't find anything that interests me. Well actually I can't find any apart from some art classed which doesn't interest me. 

see I don't even know what the purpose of this post is. I'm all over the place. I see my dr and he wants to take me off the antidepressants but I'm so scared that I will fall back into depression where I can't function at all that I rather deal with the manic than go back to the horrible dark place. 

[Dreamy]

Hello @snowflake231. I can understand the frustration of not being able to find that middle ground, like it's either one extreme or the other and there is no in-between.

Well done on having your house clean and in order, sucks not being able to have things to do though cos everythingis already done. I mean you could always come and help me with my house 😂.

What about gardening, do you have any gardens to look after? Hmm tricky if you can't find any clubs to join. What things are you interested in? 

I can hear the worry about coming off the medication, what about reducing it if that's a possibility, could maybe just see how you go on a lesser dose? 

We are always here for you, take care of yourself 😊 

[snowflake231]

Thank you. 
we live in an apartment so no gardening for me. 

im on the minimum dose for the antidepressant so can't reduce that. 

but I'm kinda enjoying the productive me. Gets a lot done. Hubby is in charge of finances so I can't spend which is good. He keeps me in check. 

[Dreamy]

@snowflake231 no worries. 

Hopefully you can find some things to do.