checking in

[NatureLover]

Thank you for being straight up with me, Lee - I really appreciate it. 

I'm glad the helpline was helpful last night, by the sound of it. Well done for contacting them. 

Hour by hour sounds OK. I will be here on and off throughout the day, and will jump on here when I see in my email notifications that you've posted. 

@Lee71 

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

Don't know what to say, Sorry

[NatureLover]

No worries, that's fine @Lee71 .

Thinking of you, as you struggle through today...

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

I appreciate your responses.

It's almost 1030 in the morning and I've already had enough of today .because of where I live there's always people around but I don't want to interact with them in anyway. I'm sitting listening to a few of them talk, not really listening to what they are saying, i feel like,  how do I explain this,  it feels like, it's kinda like I'm not really here,  that I'm invisible,  or just an observer,  not real sure how to explain it.

Just will hibernate in my room. 

[NatureLover]

---

@Lee71 wrote:

It's almost 1030 in the morning and I've already had enough of today .because of where I live there's always people around but I don't want to interact with them in anyway. I'm sitting listening to a few of them talk, not really listening to what they are saying, i feel like,  how do I explain this,  it feels like, it's kinda like I'm not really here,  that I'm invisible,  or just an observer,  not real sure how to explain it.

---

Thanks for explaining... It sounds a bit like dissociation?

It must be frustrating to have all those people around when you want to be alone. Is there always noise there? @Lee71 

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

It probably is dissasociation. That happens to me a lot, I'm always losing chunks of time. 

It is always noisy, and I'm quite sensitive to a lot of noise.

[NatureLover]

---

@Lee71 wrote:

It is always noisy, and I'm quite sensitive to a lot of noise.

---

I'm sorry to hear that's it's always noisy there. That must be hard. @Lee71 

I can empathise with the dissociation. It's an escape from reality. 

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

Noises are very difficult,  I have ear  plugs to wear when I have to go out tohelp down out the noise, that helps my anxiety a little.

Where I live, 13 other people,  constant noise, conversations, music  tv and general noise.  It's not their fault noise bothers me

If I was a machine and this broken, anyone would just throw it in the bin.

I've always believed I'm broken beyond repair.

[Maggie]

I’m around on and off also @Lee71 @NatureLover , following along, caring a lot. Wishing things were different/better for you/us. 💞💞

[NatureLover]

---

@Lee71 wrote:

If I was a machine and this broken, anyone would just throw it in the bin.

I've always believed I'm broken beyond repair.

---

I'm so very sad to read this, Lee 😞 I'm so very sorry you were hurt so badly. 😞

I'm also sad that you can't live somewhere quieter. I know it's not possible, or you would be already. The ear plugs sound like a good idea. @Lee71