checking in

[NatureLover]

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@Maggie wrote:

I’m around on and off also @Lee71 @NatureLover , following along, caring a lot. Wishing things were different/better for you/us. 💞💞

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Thank you so much, @Maggie  ❤️

[Jupiter]

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If I was a machine and this broken, anyone would just throw it in the bin.

I've always believed I'm broken beyond repair.

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Hi @Lee71 

These are difficult feelings to have...

However, you are not a machine, you are a human, a person with inherent value and something to contribute to the world. A gentle reminder that you matter...

[Lee71]

@Maggie @Jupiter @NatureLover 

@Maggiethanks for being around it helps to know you're here

As for me being of value, that I matter that's not the message I received throughout my life.

I know I'm a waste of space, worthless, that's how I feel every day, today included

[NatureLover]

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@Lee71 wrote:

As for me being of value, that I matter that's not the message I received throughout my life.

I know I'm a waste of space, worthless, that's how I feel every day, today included

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I'm so very sorry to hear this. 😞 That's a cruel and abusive message that was given to you. @Lee71 

Unfortunately, I received the same message. I don't feel like that any longer, but it took years of therapy and being listened to and having my feelings validated. 

I don't see you as worthless or a waste of space. Not in the slightest. I see you as a polite, considerate, thoughtful person who has suffered and is suffering a lot, through no fault of your own. 

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

I'm sorry you had to go through that also. It still happens sometimes for me.

I am just hopeful the messages weren't delivered in the same way mine are .

You are very kind, thoughtful, caring don't know how anyone would ever think differently of you.

[NatureLover]

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@Lee71 wrote:

@NatureLover 

I'm sorry you had to go through that also. It still happens sometimes for me.

I am just hopeful the messages weren't delivered in the same way mine are .

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I am really sorry to hear that this still happens sometimes for you. 😞 I don't know what way the messages are still delivered to you, but we are here to listen if you need to share.  It may be too traumatic to share though, in which case I understand.

Thanks for your kind words. You are a kind person too, Lee. ❤️

@Lee71 

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

It's mostly just  emotional and mental abuse, I don't want to say too much because I don't want to trigger you or upset you .

[Peregrinefalcon]

Hi @Lee71,

I can see you are going through a really difficult time at the moment. I am glad to see you are receiving support from @NatureLover and I don't wish to intervene too much here. I just want to post a gentle reminder that abuse is never your fault, and something no one deserves. 

I will encourage you to continue to reach out to helplines when needed

SANEh helpcentre - 1800 187 363

Lifeline - 13 11 14

Emergency Services - 000

Take good care of yourself 🙂

[NatureLover]

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@Lee71 wrote:

@NatureLover 

It's mostly just  emotional and mental abuse, I don't want to say too much because I don't want to trigger you or upset you .

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Mine was the same, Lee, but it's enough to do a lifetime of damage. 

I don't think you will trigger me or upset me... I've had quite a bit of healing around my childhood and ongoing abuse, and I don't see my father much any more. But it's considerate of you not to want to trigger anyone. 

I agree with @Peregrinefalcon  (thank you) that neither of us deserved it. Not as children and not as adults. 

@Lee71 

[Lee71]

@Peregrinefalcon 

Yes @NatureLover  has been awesome. Very kind and supportive. 

Your reminder that's something I have issues with, but my issues from the past.