Newbie

[Pudelin]

Hi,

I am Pudelin and I am going through being diagnosed for the second time around. They thought they got it wrong in hindsight back in 2007 or thereabouts and therefore was undiagnosed in around 2012. But did they? As I am now back here again after another major (recognizable) episode. And after how many in between that I was able to kinda function through more or less and I did not confess the depth of my symptoms during these times to the professionals and therefore hiding it from others and more importantly hiding it from myself. This time like the first time was a shock, as during these times I could not recognize the true nature of what was really happening - until (this time) I suddenly knew something was very wrong within myself. But BP was not the answer I was in my wildest dreams thinking that I would hear ever again come out of a professionals mouth. It is still a bit unclear as to which one I have? But BP it is! There are more types to be chosen from this time around with sub types as well I believe from my understanding. I have been diagnosed with many titles in my time, should I feel privileged as sometimes it’s a huge positive and sometimes it feels like it can play out as a huge negative! I have also been diagnosed with ASD2 and ADHD this year and am still coming to terms with that. And since have had extreme life changes that have impacted and lead me to here today… and again about to go and visit my Dr to discuss my BP? Its mind blowing the journey one has with their own mental health and the mental affects as well the effects diagnosis’s play on your mental health and it can feel like you are just going around in circles at times! As well as the cycle of the financial and relationship stress’s that sit as co-morbid mobilities with your mental health. So we will see what the discussion further amounts to today! Kindest Regards, 

Pudelin

[Snowie]

Hi @Pudelin 

Welcome to the Sane forums.

Sounds like you have gone through a lot in your mental health journey.

Whilst I don't have ADHD or ASD2, I know that there are members on here that might be able to relate to you better. In saying that, happy to have a chat with you.

I hope to talk again soon.

[Pudelin]

Hey @Snowie 

Thx for the reply always a nervous thing - thinking will anyone reply!

Yeah it’s been a crazy year! And seeming to becoming more so! Lol

BP is hard and it’s now a case of all 3 playing their own individual roles in my brain and which came first the chicken or the egg… or which one is it in fact atm! All of these conditions overlap in the mental behavioral traits - so it so hard to define. I knowing everything I have learnt, I do know which one is which now… and all can be present as well at the same time in differing ways. And BP is a high Co-Morbid friend of ADHD as well. 

The medication alone can be a real make or break also I know from my past experiences… and I feel like I am back here again… feel like a lab rate a bit… but I do trust my Physc and Dr very much and have found the right care I think finally after a nearly 30 year battle in fact prob tbh, if not my whole life of course as all these conditions are life long and have been present just not persistent.

How has being on here helped you?

And how are you going atm?

Kindest Regards,

Pudelin

[Pudelin]

I did send a reply but forgot to put the @Snowie - but it is addressed to you - Soz

[Pudelin]

Just fixed it - lol

[Snowie]

@Pudelin It can take some time for people to respond, it is not really that busy during the day on here. Most people come on in the evening. I am around in some way most days so only a tag away.

It must be hard at times to deal with what is in your head at times, especially with the diagnosis that you have. I know my head gives me grief at times too! It's good that you know which one is what and that you can tell the difference between them. No doubt this took a long time to come to.

I'm glad you have trust in you physc and gp, especially when it comes to meds. I also feel like a lab rat at times. It takes a lot of trial and error to find the right balance between taking meds and dealing with the side effects too.

I have been on these forums for quite awhile now. Even though I have got a supportive team around me, I know that there are times where I need something more. The forums are good for that. Even though each of our stories are different, there are members on here that I can relate to and talk to about things happening in my life. It makes it easier to talk to someone that 'gets it'. A lot of the support workers on here have lived experiences too, which can help in those bad times.

Thanks for asking, I am doing ok. Just trying to juggle life and my mental health. Feels like a roller coaster ride!

[MissMuffet]

Hey @Pudelin 

When you say BP do you mean bipolar or BPD which is borderline personality disorder?

I don't think it's a bad thing to have the correct diagnosis but when there is doubt or you've been incorrectly diagnosed that's tough. Getting the right one is imperative to getting proper treatment and being able to manage the illness.

I have had a longstanding diagnosis of depression but I take meds prescribed for other things such as ADHD and bipolar. There has been a lot of confusion about what I do have and most doctors are hesitant to diagnose me with anything else. I personally think I am autistic but I haven't really sought a processional opinion about that yet.

The problem is that the doctor only gets to see you for a very short amount of time, and how can you possibly remember everything that has happened and say "oh yes, this one time I did this (insert diagnostic marker)"? As i understand it you only need one episode of mania to be considered bipolar but if you don't even know you're in that state how would you remember? It's frustrating when you don't tick all the boxes to fit a diagnosis but you know there is something going on.

I think at this stage, if you are still getting used to your diagnoses try not to give too much weight to them. You will work it out in your own time what you want do identify with. Identities with diagnoses come and go, especially as you go along your journey. Maybe you might find a really good treatment or therapy and as they impact you less you may not pay much attention to them anymore. On the other hand if you say "this is how I am and this diagnosis is part of me" that's ok too.

I had a really tough time with a diagnosis/lack thereof of a sleep disorder a few years back... I too went back and forth and it was quite demoralising. But that's another story I'll share another time.

Good luck and if you have any questions, I'm happy to offer my perspective and experiences 🙂

[tyme]

Hey @Pudelin ,

I was thinking the same as @MissMuffet . When you said, "BP", can you clarify what you meant?

I hope things work out better for you and I hope you find it helpful connecting with others here on the forums 🙂

[hanami]

HI @Pudelin 

Welcome, it's lovely to meet you here. I'm sorry you've been through a lot with your diagnosis! What a topsy turvy ride. 

I'm glad you found us here. I hope you've been comforted by the responses and I hope to see you around!

Hanami

[Pudelin]

Hi,

Thx for your reply. Sorry been a hard time this last week while I adjust to medications. I have BD2. It has been really embarrassing to cope with this new diagnosis as I had to have my 23 year old daughter come and sit with me for 3 days till things settled down.I finally found a little equilibrium and are making more logical choices - well I think I am anyway. I have money to pay back and have blown out my afterpay which kindly gives you the opportunity to use it anywhere now if you pay $10 a month fee… no thank you… not a great choice when you are in a manic state. As well as borrowing money of my son and mother and father. So now in a bit of debt! I guess that is BS2 tax right. Mean while I fight my sleep patterns at night and stay up way to late. Till I am literally nodding off sitting up. Hope everyone is doing ok… his there someone out there? 
Cheers