Lived Experience Forum

[Llamadrama1212]

Hey Everyone, 

Does anyone have tips or particular DBT skills that they use to help them manage their BPD at work?

[tyme]

Hey @Llamadrama1212 ,

Welcome to the forums! Thank you for your post. I’m interested to understand a little more about what’s happening for you at work whereby you want to implement skills and strategies.

That is, is it to deal with getting frustrated at other people? Is it that people are expecting too much of you? Is it that you are trying to find a balance in your work?

There’s certainly a lot that can be done. Throughout my BPD journey, I was always working (or, I held down a job anyway), so I sort of ‘get’ the issues that may arise from being at work.

 I’ll wait to hear from you, tyme

[Llamadrama1212]

Hey so unfortunately I’m unemployed at the moment. I found when I was in a customer service environment I was really frustrated with being treated rudely and spoken down to by customers. Then I finally graduated uni and got a job in the field I studied for and so so many things were wrong with that place. It also wasn’t just me that had problems there- many of my coworkers were miserable and wanting to leave because of the boss and issues like: picking favourites, not assigning people to different tasks/very unorganised, boss whispering in front of people to 2IC, boss heavily criticising people on every single mistake, boss talking behind peoples backs, boss only treating their friends nicely, boss picking favourites and not providing training in different areas, boss telling their boss complete untruths about how everything was going etc. I lasted a year and a half and had to resign. I was going to go back to uni to do further study in that field but my mental health is too bad at the moment so I had to drop out of the course. Now I am trying to find work and I’m terrified and anxious of applying because I don’t want to be treated really badly by managers and staff again. I don’t want to work in that field I studied for anymore because it honestly broke me, and also I realised it is extremely hard to move up even with postgrad. So for the meantime I need to apply for customer service/retail/hospo. 
My wise mind knows that whatever workplace I land in next won’t absolutely destroy my mental health like the last one it’s just that I’m so crushed because I really thought that was the field I wanted to work in and now I feel empty without it. I have some ideas of other fields I’d like to do but for some reason I’m just terrified/exhausted by the idea of going to any workplace again and being made to feel worthless.

Sorry for the rant. Like wise mind knows I need money but emotional mind is like stay in bed the outside world is unsafe, people are awful, you are gonna get badly hurt again

[MayaBird07]

I've just completed my second week of DBT, Well DBIS, which is a 10 week version.

I am bipolar 1 and so far so good, its been helpful in not letting my mind get carried away, if that makes sense, stop catastrophizing. 

Mindfulness seems to be a large part of it and getting you to remaining present. 

[Jasper_123]

Hi @Llamadrama1212 ! 

As @Thyme said, I think some more details would help us give more tailored advice! 

I think a holistic approach to BPD is the best: finding an exercise that helps you burn some energy (helps you regulate), I find before a shift that I think I need to be especially calm for I will have part of my shower cold or go for a walk beforehand and focus on my breathing. Building up your self-esteem can also help. When I worked retail the main thing for me was realising that people can be in the wrong/rude and at the end of the day I'll never think about them again + wondering what's going on in this poor persons life for them to be so rude/stuck up etc. 

[Asgard]

Hi @Llamadrama1212 

Read that detailed post of yours and completely agree that your previous boss was an ass of the highest order.  But am also reading from your post that "your wise mind" your words, knows that your next work experience will not be as bad.  So you need to listen to that wise mind of yours, trust yourself and your instinct, you know what is best for you.  You also said that you knew your chosen field was the fiel you wanted to work in and now you feel empty.  Again trust yourself, get back in there, you know your stuff and am sure you are very good at it.  

All the very best