Lived Experience Forum

[Lonelyman23]

Hello, I am 23 a struggling Aussie, I just feel like I'm a big failure in everything I do and I let down every one that is close to me..
I suffer from depression and it's something I gotta deal with, I have my up and down days

I put on a brave face every day so no one knows I'm struggling, I have never been good at opening up but I would like some one to give me helpful advice. On what I can do to help

[Flower88]

Hi @lonelyman I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this, what way do u think you're letting people down? Remember you need to take care of you first. You can't be there for everyone and the people that stay in your life are the ones that matter, if people are making you feel that way, that's not fair on you and it's very mean to do that.

[Lonelyman23]

I am trying to take care of my self, but my nature is to look after other people first then me.. I have always been that way, i feel I am letting my parents down especally. I know they love me and all but my brother is so Sucessful. And I'm not. Everything I do I fail. I just can't do it no more..

[Flower88]

Hi @Lonelyman23 you are not a failure, the worst thing we can do is compare ourselfs to each other. Also keep in mind there have been very successfull people that have gone through depression. Do your parents know that you have depression? Do you have a support network? It's ok to be alittle selfish and take care of you. You sound like a very amazing giving person, you are not bad if you make yourself a priority, it's called taking care of your mental health. Being successful doesn't mean everything, being happy does. You need to find your feet and your steps in life. Not your brother not your parents but yours and yours only. I know it's hard now, I was your age. But it gets better 😀

[Flower88]

Do you have any activities?

[Lonelyman23]

You are very nice thank you very much.
I am not trying to follow in my brothers foot steps it's just difficult. He is doing well and I'm not.

Yes my parents know I have depression I tried to fight it at first but I know it's a normal thing and people suffer from it. I go for walks just to clear my head..
I feel bad if I don't help people it's who I am..
Nope I don't have any one to help or talk with. I heard about this site.. I need to talk to people who won't judge me. And are going through the same things

[Flower88]

Completely understand, defs don't judge you. 😊 It's completely normal, that's hard I know watching people around you be successful. I'm glad u like to help people. 😊 I always felt like a failure too and sometimes still do. I see ppl doing things faster then me at life and feel so behind. But then get excited about the things i can do 😀 Are your family supportive?

[GingerWhinger]

Hi Lonely Man, I have a son about you age - and most definitely it is his happiness that means more to me than his perceived success. He doesn't have a sibling to compare himself against but essentially we are unique individuals with our own unique paths to find for ourselves. I've always encouraged my son to be in touch with his feelings and strike that fine balance between self-care and caring for others. You seem like an immensely compassionate person. Giving does make us feel good... and I think sometimes we need to recognise that "giving" can be a form of taking, and "accepting help from others" can be one of the most generous gift that we can give another person. Do you have private insurance? If medication is not working for you, often ECT may be worth discussing with your psychiatrist. Depression can be difficult to endure but we always get through each depressive phase, no matter how bleak it appears at the time and no matter how bleak our future might appear to us. It's a matter of taking it day by day and gradually finding a way to live better with our illness. I wish you all the best, Ginger

[Lonelyman23]

Yeah they have been supportive but I mean I get they love me.. But it's just frustrating people just keep nagging me to find my feet all the time and it don't really make it any easier

[Lonelyman23]

Thank you ginger.. Every bit of advice helps and I appreciate every single advice people give me it's nice to know that people out there care..