Lived Experience Forum

[LoveBug]

Hey guys, i really need some help.

Things have esculated dramatically for the last week. all i think about is suicide and the ways i can do it, however i feel so guilty for putting my family through this. except that is feeding into that i am better off dead because they will no longer have to worry about me. it is such a constant thought, i just don't know what to do. my social worker knows, but doesn't believe i need hospitalisation. i dont want to be hospitalised but i feel like i am very quickly spirling out of control. I was at a mental health sub-acute facility for a week and a half, but today i was asked to leave because i am a high risk of self-harm and suicide. it feels like they gave up, that i am not worth enough to them to help me. i feel like everywhere i turn, i just get pushed away and made to feel like i am nothing..  that i am not worth the time nor effort.

i cant do this for much longer, i am hardly holding on

[esprit]

Hi love bug. You poor poor thing. I'm so sorry your feeling so low I wish our mental health system were better. Please don't take it personally it's just the system. I know when your feeling so low it's hard to take a step back and see things in a different prospective. But please try. Take a minute just breath. Try to relax your mind. Honestly if you are feeling really really bad take yourself off to emergency. It is an illness. Not a bad personality trait you have every right to support and help. Is there someone who could take you?

[esprit]

Are you ok?

[CherryBomb]

Hi @LoveBug

That's disappointing to hear that you've been turned away when you are clearly reaching out for help. It may not seem like much, but you being on here, right now, shows me that you have courage, and that you are concerned about harming yourself - there's a will to fight. 

Please don't take how the mental health facility has treated you as any indication of your worth. I'm not sure why they did this. Sometimes it can be because they don't feel they are the most approprate service, and want you to get the help you deserve. Though, on the other hand, sometimes services can also let people down. Either way, it's not you. 

@LoveBug have you felt like this before? What did you do to get through? 

If you feel like things are getting too much, please remember there is support out there. You do not have to go through this alone, please get in contact with crisis support. 

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

If in immediate danger: 000

[Appleblossom]

Hello @LoveBug  Hang on and dont stop reaching out.

Shouldnt they have been able to fast track you into a high care situation? 

What is the purpose of assessment @CherryBomb ... if they cant follow through properly.

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Appleblossom,

It is really disappointing when services don't follow through. Though, it doesn't mean that every service is like this - it can be useful to seek support elsewhere. As you pointed out, it's important that @LoveBug doesn't stop reaching out. 

@LoveBug how are you today?