Lived Experience Forum

[YellowbrickRoad]

Hey @Owlunar, 

I admire your ability to say that enough is enough. Sometimes I wonder when that moment will come to me... as in when will my mind overrule my heart and just draw the line and make me walk away instead of sticking around and wondering whether I should stay or go or what would happen if I did either.... 

The moment did come to me in my last relationship. I was engaged to a guy who was quiet a bit older - I met him when I was 16. I look back and feel like I was almost brainwashed and moulded in to what he wanted me to be. I was so very naive. I had so much evidence, heresay and gut feelings during that time but I still held on and gave him the benefit of the doubt and listened to his poor excuses. 

I just walked out the door one night. I was very depressed and at the stage of suicidal thoughts when I just got in my car and drove away without any specific reason as to why I was leaving. I just did. 

Its sickening to remember how much I thought he respected me and cherished me, which he actually did to my face! Only to finally be given proof of the numerous affairs he had with numerous women - some of which were friends. The feeling of betrayal and dissappointment in myself for not listening to my gut will always remain! 

[Owlunar]

Hi @YellowbrickRoad 

I have had two long term relationships in my life and a marriage is harder to get out of but having done that once leaving the guy - who was pretty harmless except for his moods - was easier because I had my own place and warned into keeping that because of how hard it was to get out of a marriage

Yes - if you feel like this it's time to bite the bullet and leave - we do not need to have anyone pulling us down - we have enough to deal with

I have said to many of my female friends - usually younger than myself - 

Women and the meat and vegetables in our lives - men are just the dessert

You are worth far more than just being the shape of a person a man thinks he wants

I wish you the best - it won't be easy but worth it and you will look back and wonder why you put up with men like this as long as you did - I know I have thought that

Dec

[YellowbrickRoad]

Thanks so much @Owlunar. It gives an instant confidence boost hearing that. 

Building self respect and confidence is something I need to work on. I don't want to waste any more time that is for sure! 

[Owlunar]

That is so great @YellowbrickRoad 

You are at the moment of jumping off the high board - why waste time

You have the rest of your life to be who you are and I wish you the very best

Dec

[BryanaCamp]

hi @YellowbrickRoad childhood trauma sux. I hate being vulnerable to emotional abusers and manipulators as a result of it.

Unfortunately I don't find it interesting like you, I'm totally over it and bitter about it. I've been working with an emotionally abusive colleague for 12 months and because he played the victim I bought his con for about 6 months. It wasn't until I saw him teasing an intellectually disabled client until she became distrssed that I realised he was a monster. Now I'm stuck with him until I can find a new job & escape which is proving to be very difficult indeed. I may approach my manager about it but because my colleague is such a clever manipulator I'm scared my manager will take his side & not be sypathetic to my suffering, then I will have comprimised my good reputation for nothing. No-one has ever complained about my colleague so I would be the first.

I hope you are not in an emotionally abusive relationship professionally (like me) or romantically. It's hard to know which is worse because at least in a romantic relationship you can end it.