Lived Experience Forum

[LostAngel]

Hello @Tilz and @Jynx and @LilMapleLeaf might have forgot someone sorry if I have but just writting again cause I need to ,Well it looks like things may be closing off with this Fake Relationship naturally that is Ive given distance again and his messages seem to be about the verge of us breaking up so to speal ,but of course with it is coming back unsetlling feelings for me and whats weird is Im aagain swaying between the real persons identity mainly for a source of comfort and then sort of looking at the fake side of things of what I was led to believe and I guess its my hearts way of trying to let go ,let go of something I thought was real but that turned out to be so fake ,its unbelievable the lengths these scammers go to keep a hold on you ,Ive tried being more distant and more logical with my decison making and I think the scammers finally getting the message that I dont believe in his fascade and stolen fake identity ,it does feel like im going through another stage of heartbreak with it all ,for example the other night I found myself thinking,pondering in the middle of the night about where I am as a person in my life and how my life is and thinking about concerns asto wether Ill have a successfull relationship or not in the future ,to put it bluntly I feel a little hopeless at the prospect that I will get the chance to be married and to have the family life that Ive wished for ,its sad ,almost depressing to think that I may not find my person ,I know Im still young enough to be married but the question in my mind remains ,will it happen for me ? it feels hopeless to think about and yet I think about it ,marraige and children has always been a longstanding life goal of mine ,but is it something thats prehaps unattainable ? sorry for sounding down like this but I wonder if prehaps Im not cut out for secure relationship that I seek ? wether I should bother trying to be in a relationship at all ? even though thats exactly what Ive wanted in life is it prehaps just simply not possible for some of us to aquire ? are some of us just destined to be alone ? I am safe but just pondering so much about my life choices thanks for listening 

[Jynx]

Hey @LostAngel I totally understand the feeling. No joke, it was a huge thing for me, believing I was unloveable and that I'd never have a partner who loved me. Few years in therapy definitely helped, but it also required me to stop putting soooo much 'mental stock' into the idea of finding a romantic partner. 

I totally understand how lonely and isolating it can feel. But you can totally find someone, or someone might just find you! I used to be very insecure in my relationships but have worked very hard on my attachment issues - both internally, and through how I relate to others (and in therapy too of course) and things have improved a lot. Still got recovery work to do but I just wanna say, that if I can do it, you can too 🤞 I believe in you! 

It will probably be a bit of time of mourning for the loss of this relationship, and I imagine that thoughts about never finding love might be a bit stronger/more prevalent during this time, but I reckon it will ease off as you heal and move on. 

[Tilz]

Hey @LostAngel  im really sorry for late reply. i was out of country. i really apologize for that. Its not true. you will get your best partner at best time. im more than 100 percent sure of that. There is no exact age for that. The best person will come in exact time and you will have a beautiful family with lovely caring husband and children. For that to come you should be strong now. Just give up all fraud relationship and wait for best. 

[Henry2]

So sorry to hear this and how it has affected u , I can see your worry about the authorities turning up and the depth of deception is mind blowing, I sincerely hope u can find a good outcome.

[LostAngel]

thank you @Tilz @Henry2 I appreciate the understanding, as for now well Im dealing with the fraud relationship absence ,in truth Things fully imploded in recent days as a result of me arguing with him ,anyway since then Im dealing with a type of lonileness and yet also a sense of freedom in having a sense of control or a sense of security of my life ,yes it took me this long to stand upto the fraudster and to stand up for myself,Im trying to take one step at a time although Im still profoundly worried about the prospect of trying to find the right man to be with ,I am trying to self soothe ,self care and only do as much as I can handle to do per day ,distractions,distractions,I will get there eventually although of course my mental health has been upsy downsy as of late ,I am really gratefull to have people on these forums showing kindness and empathy so I can in turn remember to be kind to myself thank you friends 

[tyme]

Hey @LostAngel ,

Your resilience and strength really shines through. It sounds like such a horrible situation to find yourself in, yet you have fought on.

We are sitting with you. Please know you are not going through this alone.

[LostAngel]

thank you @tyme today has been a little difficult with pangs of getting used to the absence of phone messages its difficult but I try to keep reminding myself of the facts that he used someone elses information to fool me,loneleness its never easy to be lonely but I recognise that same lonliness only makes me go for the wrong types of men, will keep trying to drown it out with movie watching and food ,its difficult I have to adjust now to the phone staying silent and somehow I need to find a way forward just doing things bit by bit ,self care and distractions,distractions,fill the space fill the void ,eventually move on ,lets hope the next man I meet is going to be good for me and to me hope its third times the charm , thanks for being here 

[tyme]

We are here for you @LostAngel 

As long as you love yourself, things will fall into place.

You deserve so much better. Hugs.