Lived Experience Forum

[SMK2]

Last year I married my partner of 7 years. Since then everything has went down hill. I started to feel depressed about a month after the wedding. I find it hard to sleep at night and sometimes my heart beats really fast and I feel like I'm having a heart attack. I can't get the motivation to get up in the mornings to get ready for work and sometimes I can't get the energy to take a shower. I feel like I have no support from my husband. We don't communicate anymore and are not physical with each other. Even when he tries to hug me I pull away. I have put on a lot of weight and don't want to leave the house because I'm ashamed of myself. I hardly go out to socialize with people and have stopped keeping in touch with my friends and make excuses when they invite me to party's. My family live overseas and i have also stopped contacting them. I feel embarrassed to tell them that I have depression because I'm afraid of their reaction.
I just don't know what to do and feel like this is going to be my life from now on.

[Kurra]

Hi @SMK2

It sounds as if things are pretty tough for you at the moment. It's certainly a horrible way to feel.

Have you talked about how you feel with your GP? Did your doctor say that you are depressed. Depression can make you feel really awful but there's a lot of things that can help you feel better than you do now.

Talk to us. We'd really like to support you during this difficult time. 💕

[SMK2]

Hi Kurra, thanks for your reply. I haven't been to my GP about how I feel. I don't know what to say or how to approach the issue. I really don't want to go on meds as I've heard so many horror stories. I know seeing my GP is a start but getting the courage to go is the problem because I know I'll just break down once I get in there.

[Milly143]

Hi SKM2

Honey, it is really really important for you to talk to a professional, if you break down, all the better, you need to let pressure out of the valve, so to speak.   Talking to your GP is a great start, I know they also have an unlimited supply of tissues, and often a kind ear to listen to your troubles.  They can start you on a Mental Health Plan and refer you to someone to further assist you.  Pour it all out to them, you have to get it off your chest.  

Not only for your relationship, but number one for YOU, you are the most important person here, and if YOU feel better, things around you shall also improve.

Take care, been there. xx

[utopia]

@SMK2. Yes it can be scary telling someone, even a gp, that you are not coping. If you find that you have difficulty saying this, why not show your gp this post you wrote. You described depression perfectly. Or you could write it down on paper and show your gp.
Not everyone with depression needs or does take anti depressants (although I do).
But you will need a professional to talk to & who can help you cope with whats going on at the moment for you & to help you move past the depression. This is where your gp can help refer you to the right psychologist. Let your gp know you are nervous / scared of talking to someone. Your gp may know just the right psychologist for you - one who is gentle and can let you go at a pace that suots you.
I understand it is painful for you at the moment, but it can and does get better.
Thinking of you