Lived Experience Forum

[Queenie]

I was watching a movie last night with my girlfriend and it featured mental illness. At one point in the film, the character living with MI becomes quite distressed and uncontrollable. I remember that is what I used to be like. At one point I was looking like living at a group home, away from the general community, for the rest of my life. 

I fast forward to now, I still have delusions and still hear voices. However, I am able to function in the community and live a fairly 'normal' life. I have an amazing relationship and am studying to become a mental health case worker (I'll remember the poor treatment I've received over the years from many a case worker and take that on board). 

I guess although I still fit the 'criteria' for schizophrenia, I have improved. I've been on so many medications, I can barely remember them all now. I think I've largely improved though due to my own self reliance and strength rather than chemical interventions. I still have the odd hospital admission, but I am gathering my own set of tools on how to recover and be independent in life and rely less and less on the 'system'. 

It really surprised me last night watching the film and explaining to my girlfriend just how unwell I was back then. I guess recovery is possible! If I can get there, I think just about anybody can. 🙂

Thanks for reading.

[pip]

Hi Queenie. May I take this opportunity to congratulate you on your success at managing a difficult illness. Schizophrenia is a real 'whammo'. I know someone who also suffers it. It's fantastic you also have the support of your gf. Obviously, you recognize the 'voice' delusions and know to basically ignore them. I sort of had a mild form of schizophrenia some years ago, it was largely due to AD's I was prescribed. I have discovered my 'tools' when I feel low is similar to yours. I recall my 'black' period, then determine it's not happening again. I actually tried to 'end' about 2 years ago. I have since vowed, I will never allow myself to get that bad again. I'm at present struggling with having to accept that my bf and I have parted, my decision. He is not allowing himself to be part of any relationship, due to past issues which have scared him. He keeps insisting he is happy to be independent. I have decided if he wants his freedom, he's GOT it, in triplicate. I'm not waiting around anymore. Perhaps he's never had anyone take him at his word, I am. He may change his mind, maybe not, either way, he has his freedom. I love him, dearly, but I can't make him want me.