Lived Experience Forum

[shanc]

@Ellie
I agree with many things you have said.. I too chose music as part of drinking self medication.. I watch the music channels and click for hours til I find a song I like.. Over Xmas had a few too many of the what I call "meltdown" pills and feel a continuous sleepy being.. I think I have found a good therapist and it's early days.. Thank you all for taking the time to respond.. It means a lot

[shanc]

Just dropped in to see the family I'm pet sitting for and to say bye. The mother figure had a few wines and I tried to escape but received an onslaught of abuse.. How i only think of myself.. That she has way more stress and problems than me.. She said there is nothing else She can do.. Then cried and continued the verbal raid.. She is the one my therapists day I am dependant on and have a dysfunctional relationship with.. She also said that she is not my mother and she has her own family to deal with.. Who is going to look after her?? So I bought beers on the way home to turn the level down.. Some beers and then bed..

[Ellie]

That sounds horrible Shanc. My heart goes out to you. As a highly sensitive person, you would have felt her words like a thousand cuts to your heart.

I can't offer you any advice Shanc. I'd have handled the situation exactly the same way and whilst the "professionals" will tell you that avoidance via alcohol is not healthy, it's sometimes what's needed just to get us through a challenging situation.

Hope you're feeling better today Shanc. Your "mother figure" sounds like she has a few issues to deal with herself, so it's certainly not your fault.

Ellie.

[shanc]

Thank you @Ellie for your support. Got a voicemail message this morning saying.. That she is in a desperate state.. Wants to get her keys and drive off a cliff thanks to me.. I'm just numb. I have no intentions to drink beer or self harm.. Just numb.. Called my therapist which I swore I would never do but she was great.. I would like 2015 to be nothing like this one.. Im sure @Ellie you can agree

[nigioc]

Hey @shanc 

A voice message like that would be enough to rattle anyone. That's pretty full on for her to tell you that you are responsible for her desire to drive off a cliff. And it sounds from your previous posts that maybe this isn't new behaviour from her. So good on you for making contact with your therapist and getting a good result. Getting support with managing the relationships in our life that bring us the most pain is integral to building resilience and skills to cope.

What's that saying about families (blood and other)..."They know how to press our buttons because they installed them."

[peace]

Oh @shanc I just got home and read your post today. I just want to say how very sorry I am that you've had that horrid accusation put on you. I am also proud of how you reached out for help. Hang in there

[shanc]

I just wanted to say thank you for all you advice and support over the last few days. I've made plans to see a few friends and have the company of a very cute puppy, that is happy and loving but most importantly can't cause me pain with words. I'm not one for resolutions but I honestly hope the new year is a better one for all of us. Thank you again

[Alessandra1992]

@shanc..I love my four legged therapist too 🙂 just had her annual vaccination today, such a trooper.
Friendship is the special key to mental health.. Nothing as healing as being in the company of friends who accept who we are, challenge us when we need to be challenged and love us for ourselves..glad you're catching up with friends @shanc, nay your new year bring you the best in life, love and happiness 🙂
Hugs from Sandy

[shanc]

The mother figure calls from Japan.. Where she is skiing, eating Japanese delicious food and probably drinking.. She called the other day with no word of her hurtful comments before she left. Spoke like everything was ok and I'm here with my mind spinning and trying desperately not to drink beer.. Seems unfair to my head but have learnt a lesson perhaps, that I need to stop looking to her for support and avoid any situations that cause the pain she did before she left. Oh well another day to much through and lucky I have my your legged cutie to keep me company.

[chemonro]

If you ask me the world would be perfect - sane, balanced, fair, organised - if it wasn't for other people!