Lived Experience Forum

[Just_Listen]

Hi did I read a post from you that got taken down?

[CrazyChick]

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@Just_Listen wrote:

Psych wards are set up all wrong. There is only so much psychiatrists can do, with a strong focus on medication. BPD in its own, doesn't respond to medication. So the attitude is, we can't do anything. 

I was telling my dr and nurse I was suicidal, if I left I wasn't safe. They record this as "Goal seeking suicide threats." Basically saying, she's using it to get her own way." My own way? What is my goal? What do they think I want?

If they bother to ask and you say to keep me safe, you're not believed.

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All of what you have written rings true for me too - so thanks for saying it. I have also seen the attitude of medication being the only option. So unhelpful.

I have also been accused of threatening suicide - like it is them that I am threatening. I don't do it for fun or to annoy them. I am not doing it to get my own way. Like you I am trying to get help.

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@Just_Listen wrote:

We need crisis intervention! Support us through it, support us to get to a place where we feel safe enough to seek or continue with outside support.

(Which isn't exactly hard... listen, empathise, validate. Don't need a degree for that)

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Yes - it is the listening, empathising & validating that we need. When I do get that it really helps. Often it is followed by a small amount of medication to help me get a good night sleep & then I am ok again till the next crisis.

[Eden1919]

This whole thread is very sad, I can’t say I am surprised though as nearly all of those things have happened to me as well. It really is ridiculous and I cannot understand why they assume you are trying to hurt yourself for attention there are much easier ways to get attention also why on earth would you want the attention of such rude and spiteful professionals it never made sense to me. Either way now I am so scared of the hospitals and public teams that I can’t even walk past the buildings. Sorry you all had such bad experiences. 

[CrazyChick]

Eden: So sorry your negative experiences have led you to fear the very people & places that should help you.

I recently had some very negative experiences in public mental health too. My fear and distrust extends to the ambulance and police who take me to hospital if I say I have suicidal thoughts. They are so sick of what they say is me being manipulative and attention seeking that they treat me horribly.

Recently I had some negative news and had got so stressed over it that I passed out. I called an ambulance, but police came instead. The police came into my bedroom where I was passed out on my bed & grabbed me to handcuff me and dragged me to their car. I was feeling very dizzy and unwell and asked to sit down, but was refused. The ambulance officer watched from the other side of the road and did not even come close enough to talk with me. I was not allowed to take any belongings with me or lock my house. I was not allowed to get dressed - I was wearing pyjamas that were falling off me & exposing my breasts. One of the officers searched me and asked if I was wearing a bra. I was taken in the police car to hospital & similarly humiliated on arriving at the hospital. I tried to get away from the police who were pushing me around. They responded by pushing me to the floor & holding me. The stress of this experience led to several suicide attempts.

It has led me to fear and avoid telling anyone about what I am thinking or how I feel, as I am scared about what might happen if the call the police or ambulance to try to get me help.

I have had helpful validating conversations with lifeline, but I am now very careful to not tell them too much, as I don't want them to need to call 000 as they are worried about my safety. The police have told me not to phone lifeline as they are sick of being asked to do welfare checks on me. They think I do it deliberately to annoy them.

[Just_Listen]

Sorry just a quick reply, will get on tonight.

But isn’t it interesting how BPD Suicide Ideation gets labelled as attention seeking, threats, used to make ppl feel bad etc

But the statistics show 1 in 10 ppl with BPD are taking their lives. ONE IN TEN.

Heartbreaking!

[Leesa]

Oh wow.
You've got it tough hey.
I've never experienced what you've gone through but I believe every single word without a Doubt.
What's sickens me is that Their actually Taking away our Basic Human Rights.
How in hell is that LEGAL.
Or even allowed.
That's why I'm not going to be Quite anymore.
This treatment, or lack there off is Causing Deaths and Such Wrongfullness That It Has to be Stopped.
Its so Wrong what's happened to you.
Holding alot of us.
So stay Strong Ok.
Your life is Worth it.
Look at how you've helped me Stand up a little bit Straighter just for talking to me.
Thank you.

[Leesa]

Oh I hear every word your saying.
Seriously if that had medication for what I have to live with, I'd take it. I'd take it every single day.
Look lock me up put a straight jacket on me give me a padded cell. But Help Me.
Don't turn us away and tell us there's nothing u can do.
That's just a Cop out because I believe that We the Consumer with BPD well we are intelligent people, we are not deranged, crazy, or, willing to be pushed aside. No we Actually Want Help.
We Actually Want our lives back. And We in general could Achieve Anything IF WE WERE WELL.
IF WE GOT THE HELP WE NEED.
And most of us I believe Would do Absolutely Anything TO NOT HAVE THIS ILLNESS.

[Leesa]

Yeah. Too much personal information about people and places.
Fair enough too.
It's for my safety and anyone else on this site.
They were fantastic about it. Just got to make a few changes and it will be reposted again. Just having trouble finding it.
Lol...

[Just_Listen]

I’m so sorry to hear of your experience.
I’ve only dealt with the police and ambulance once and they were absolutely amazing. Complete opposite of your experience. Perhaps you could write a simple letter when your feeling well. Keep one in your handbag, one near the front door.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY
I have BPD. To HELP me please do the following...
-List What helps, how to talk to you etc. Eg Speak to me in a soft voice, this will help calm me.
DO NOT:
-List What triggers you and makes the crisis worse.

It may help, just an idea!

[Just_Listen]

I did get to quickly read it. Is there a way we can connect outside of the post?