Lived Experience Forum

[Sonnenklar]

Hello everyone,

I am reaching out as I need some help. Last Tuesday I went through my darkest hour and after a long battle with Bulimia and Depression I did something silly. I ended up hospitalised for 4 days and am now back home. I am struggling to process this and have no feelings towards it and don’t even know why I did what I did or what the intended outcome was. I feel neither hopeless nor hopeful. I just want all Eating issues and dark thoughts to disappear and go to work and have everything returning to normal.

I have a follow up appointment on Tuesday, however I am feeling so strange.

Anyone here experienced this?

[utopia]

@Sonnenklar
I think after a traumatic event like last Tuesday you are probably feeling numb. That's understandable.
Do you think you really need to process your thoughts now? Maybe it can wait until the shock wears off.
Pleased you have an appointment coming up. Stay safe.

[Sonnenklar]

@utopia
Thanks for your reply. You are right I probably don’t - but the perfectionist in me just wants to brush over things and continue on. I do know that’s not right. They also took me off my anti - depressants which is probably also making me a little more edgy.

[Former-Member]

Taking you off anti-depressants dosn't sound smart as it seems like you'd need some extra help when you are not feeling well. I hope you had a good talk with the psychiatrist and have a good gp to help you with the right medication.

[utopia]

@Sonnenklar - I hope they didn't just 'cold turkey' you off your AD's. That would be too much of a shock to your already tired mind and body. Did they give you an alternative AD to take?

[Sonnenklar]

@Former-Member @utopia <br>I had shown problematic behaviour with them in my crisis and I think that was part of the reason. It was a psychiatrist who recommended for me to come off them - I also did not find them helpful I guess. Been on them since Oct 2016 and I gained a bunch of weight which is hard to process when living with an ED. <br><br>But it is true, the withdrawal could be part of the reason why I feel like I do maybe?

[Former-Member]

Yeah there is going to be a ware off period, I'm surprised they didn't switch you to another one or give you a short term drug to help ease it.

[Sonnenklar]

Yes, but we will see what happens.
I am alone at home not working and straight back to eating issues and feeling not well. I feel very trapped and like I am constantly complaining and feeling sorry for myself. Not feeling too stable at all.