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Something’s not right

Senior Contributor


Wanting to know if there's anyone else in this group caring for someone with D.I.D.?

We've got a family member with a very "crowded" internal world of multiple personalities. This goes along with compulsive behaviours, phobias, social anxiety, derealisation and other difficulties. The person in question sees medical and psychological practitioners regularly; it's a disorder that apparently doesn't respond to medication, and they have previously reacted badly to medications that have been trialled; I'm seeing a psychologist regularly myself to deal with the pressure and get some feedback/backup. I have a supportive husband and family, but otherwise it's hard to know how to or who to talk with about what's going on. It's an uncommon enough disorder that you have to explain an awful lot about it before a conversation can even really start, and then you run into dangerous ground regarding the privacy of the person in question.


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Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder Carers?

Hi @Smc,

Thanks for introducing this topic and DID is a challenging and confusing condition for family & friends. From what I have read, a good psychiatrist or therapist is needed to work long term with people affected by DID.

Hopefully there are other carers like you on the forum who can share their experiences too.

Kind regards,



Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder Carers?

Thanks. At present the medical professionals are trying to find an appropriate psychiatrist. There was a really good and highly experienced one available, but said family member didn't feel comfortable working with him, and as a competent adult, she's allowed to opt out of the planned ongoing therapy. There's very few in the field, and mostly they're in major cities, which means a couple of hours travel from our rural location. Also often means that therapy is best done as a clinic inpatient, which is something she doesn't feel comfortable with.

Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder Carers?

Welcome @Smc

If you haven't come across this already, you may find these support groups helpful. Though, you mentioned you were in a rural area, so the groups may be too far away.

There is a discussion in the Lived Experience Forum that you might be interested in: Multiple Personality Ask Anything


I hope you find the above helpful and that your loved one is travelling okay



Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder Carers?

Thanks for the links NikNik. I've been away and haven't had internet access so didn't check them out until now.

I'm not too comfortable about participating in a forum based on lived experience of DID. I'm already feeling a bit overloaded from what I'm personally seeing, and trying to take in similar experiences reported by people who are strangers to me feels like adding extra load- hope that makes sense? 

However, following links and leads that came up on the FB DID group has given me some hopefully helpful info. One mystery with our family member's diagnosis is that there doesn't seem to be any incidence of the traumatic abuse that is usually the trigger for dissociation. Via links from links, I found an article about attachment disorder, some of which fits her case. Still some real mystery there, as attachment disorder usually stems from parental neglect/lack of interaction as an infant. In her case there was ready response to her infant needs, but she continued to be distressed despite attempts to calm and care for her. Annnd.... attachment disorder doesn't get billed as triggering DID unless there's also active physical and/or sexual abuse.

It feels as if something has been missed in her diagnosis, but as she's an adult, we've got limitations on our access to her health professionals to give info on her early development or discuss our own misgivings. I do understand the need for autonomy for adult patients, but sometimes it seems a bit obstructive.

Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder Carers?

Hi @Smc .... 

Just something to consider .... sometimes people from the LE side of the forum can provide great insights about how to help, and where their searches for as swears have taken them.

There is more than one thread on DID operating over there at the moment, and Tawney in particular, with a medical background, has posted some very functional information on her DID thread.

You will know your own comfort level .... just trying to help ....



Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder Carers?

@Faith-and-Hope & @NikNik Thanks. I'm running on empty at the moment and haven't got much leeway for taking in extra, but I will bear your advice in mind... maybe not right now though. If I do check it out, I might keep it at "watcher" level rather than participating. 

We've got a positive at the moment that a new psychologist has been added to the mix who specialises in DID, and some of the questions she's asking are touching on areas that I've felt have been overlooked up until now. Had a hopefully productive afternoon with our daughter yesterday going over some childhood/family history questions from the psychologist's list. Some of it was a bit confronting, some of it was actually encouraging because it confirmed that we've handled a few vital stages/events reasonably well. The questions are designed to open discussion about areas of the person's life that commonly contribute to DID, but there were some topics where, instead of highlighting injury, they brought up good memories, and even things we could laugh about.


Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder Carers?

That is sounding positive @Smc ... and yes ... I anticipated it would be a "watcher p" role unless something provided you an "in" that you wanted to explore with someone.


Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder Carers?

That's great news @Smc ! It sounds very productive.

Keep us posted on how things are travelling.

Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder Carers?

Re. "Split" and my daughter. I had a chance to raise the topic of the movie with her yesterday, when she phoned us to arrange to take her younger sister to a fun kids' movie. Turns out that she'd seen posters and had sensibly decided not to watch trailers, certainly not the full movie. Yay, glad she was so sensible about it. I gave her a quick appraisal of the general feeling in SANE's online discussions that yes, themovie is quite innacurate, and told her that some have suggested countering it by making reliable info about DID available to moviegoers. So glad that hurdle was well handled.

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