Lived Experience Forum

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member 

You wrote

I choose to write this this afternoon rather than Indulge in harmful behaviours. I choose now to be in more control of my thoughts and my actions. The people that have mistreated me in my life have stolen enough, I am taking control of what is left of me and I will start to build a life I can be proud of. I know I will stumble along the way, I may even go backwards at time and that is ok. If recovery was easy then none of us would know each other. 

That's all so true. We would not know each other if we had not been in the dark places and the shadows at some stage/s of our lives. I actually feel enriched with my dark times. I was really forced to look at myself and change

And yes - those people who have mistreated you, me, anyone else, have had enough of our lives. They have stolen enough of our time.

I saw something on TV last night - the story of a high profile couple who had been controlled by their family and that family had not allowed the young woman to seek help for her suicidal thoughts and fears. Not allowed - that was so sad for me. There was so much more

I come from a racist and controlling family - I gave them enough time and left for years at a time sometimes - it was hard but worth it

And I am glad you are choosing to post here rather than do harm to yourself. That is a sound choice. I hope your day looks better and know that there are other people who have been hurt by others who seek to dominate them and this is not user-friendly behaviour for anyone. It's not easy to pull the good parts of ourselves together - and also know that the shadows are part of ourselves too and maintain a healthy respect for them and keep them in their place

All the best today - I really feel for you and hope things look better. I'm so glad you have a therapist

Dec

[Former-Member]

@Owlunar , @Anastasia , @MDT  Thank you all for your replies. It's nice to be heard and thank you @Emelia8  for your 👍 as well. 

@Lee82 , are you around my love?

[Emelia8]

@Former-Member 🤗💞

Emelia

[Lee82]

My love your post has touched my heart in so many different ways. It hurts because you are hurting and because you are struggling but at the same time I have some positive feelings too because I see that you are trying your damn hardest to push through the darkness and get yourself to the other side. That makes me so very very happy. I am so proud of you beautiful more than I can describe for how you have decided to deal with all this stuff. 
You are truly an inspiration to me and you help to give me a little hope that maybe one day I may feel the same way you do right now. 
I love you my wonderful, gorgeous and amazing BFF. More than I can ever tell you.
@Former-Member 

[outlander]

@Lee82 @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Thanks for that little doggie pic, cute dogs and kids always make me smile Em. ❤️ @Emelia8 

@Lee82 , sorry honey have taken so long to get back to you. My daily routines are so important when I have so many active child alters. I skipped putting my bed away this morning, as it's in the lounge room. So I went out for a smoke and planned on checking to see if you had replied, then I woke up two hours later!! If I had put the bed away that would not have happened. How are you feeling tonight

[Lee82]

No need to apologise hun. I get how important your routine would be for you having so many child alters to worry about not to mention your own self care routines. 
I am not doing the best to be completely honest. I spent most of the day sleeping and I was suppose to go see my GP but couldn't bring myself to go after my last appointment with her. Just so embarrassed and ashamed. 
Do you have an appointment tomorrow with one of your MH docs? Sorry my memory is shocking these days. 
@Former-Member 

[frog]

Thank you @Former-Member your post resonated with me too.

You have a lot of wisdom and insight to offer.

I'm thinking of you, and sending love and light back at you!

[Former-Member]

I am sorry that you couldn't make it to your Gp today honey but I am sure she will understand, those appointments aren't comfortable even if there is no trauma in your past. Remember it's ok not to be ok, it's ok to spend the day on the couch. I would love you to remember how important you are to your boys, your brother and your friends here. You are enough babe and you are making great progress everyday. I am having a a rough evening, as usual nights are hard. Child alters scared of the dark, alcoholic alter searching for a drink and ocd alter constantly checking doors and and windows. Hoping your night is easier than last night. I will be around for a little if you want to chat. @Lee82 

@frog ❤️

[Lee82]

Have you taken your night meds babe? I can't even imagine how tiring all that would be for you. Are you switching a lot at the moment hun? 
May I ask who I am talking to? I feel it's izzy but I have been wrong in the past. 
@Former-Member