Lived Experience Forum

[Alacarte]

Hi. I’m schyzoaffective and I’m 43 years old. Life can be really tough at times and at others I get some relief. I’m coming up to 3 years sober from alcohol. My question is i’ve just started doing my Bachelor of Arts degree and with the new learning I’m struggling at times to keep on track even though this will only be day 3. I get overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy and confused by the course layout as it’s not really all in front of me. It’s not shown in detail what you should be doing. This is leading to feelings of I’m just not good enough to do the course. I had to take an additional med last night to stop my head racing away with feelings of inadequacy and some self defeatism. I’ve never really talked to anyone with schyzoaffective disorder and would love to hear some replies if anyone can help. 

Thanks

[greenpea]

@Alacarte  Hi Alacarte we spoke this morning but again welcome to the forums :). I have schizoaffective disorder and bipolar 1 and have done a BA in philosophy and politics. I did my degree when I was manic now as I look back and alot of the stress of doing the degree (plus other issues) brought on my illness which is stress related.

I would love to go and do more study but find at the moment anyway that my brain is a bit frazzled :(.  There are other people here with schizo and bipolar who are studying @Eden1919  and @Queenie (hope you don't mind me tagging you both into the conversation)  who have the diagnosis and are studying so it is not impossible.

I wish you well in your studies and don't be too hard on yourself  :). greenpea

[Queenie]

Thanks for tagging me in the conversation @greenpea  and a warm welcome to you @Alacarte  (good username btw). I have schizoaffective disorder also and am studying at present. The biggest tip I can give you is to practice a lot of self care. I get easily stressed and when I’m like that, it’s then that positive symptoms rear their ugly heads. I also have a tutor to help me keep organised and under control. Medications can play a big part in studying well. I take one of my meds which turns my brain to mush so I make sure study time isn’t when I take that particular pill. Also don’t be afraid to contact student support services if needed. After all, they’re there to support your journey through study. Most universities have some sort of student support service. Create a vision board of what you want to achieve in the long run and keep it close by. Most importantly have fun and remain flexible!

[Eden1919]

@Alacarte  Hi i have schizoaffective bipolar type and a number of other diagnoses as well i am also studying a Bachelor of Arts for me there is no way on earth i could have even contemplated study while on meds as @Queenie has mentioned they trun my brain to absolute mush. i cant think i cant talk properly i literally just sit try and sleep and cry when i am on them. i hate meds but that is a personal choice. as for the study my best tip would be to take the time you need but also always allow extra time for study as you never know how long it will take and NEVER get behind it is possible to catch up on one weeks worth of work but 2-3 is pushing it and anywhere past 4 and it is too hard to handle. as @greenpea  mentioned stress is not helpful so try and set yourself up so that you have some down time to de-stress i like to do study in the morning and afternoon and down time in the evening and by the end of the day i am exhausted and if i havent done the work by then it is never getting done. also try and access any study supports you can through the university. good luck and let us know how things go. 

[Alacarte]

@Eden1919  @Queenie @greenpea   Thanks for replying 😊. My initial diagnosis was paranoid schizophrenia but over the last two years that has seemed to settle back into my brain somehow. Is that possible? I just hope that doesn’t flare up again. I have a phone appointment with the university’s student disability coordinators so that I can explain to them why it can be hard to study at times. As well as my diagnosis’s I’m also a chronic procrastinator and untidy to boot!!  Lol. Feeling better today as I took it a bit easier and am printing out the majority of the readings so I’m not staring at a computer screen. That’s helping but I don’t know why. Maybe because I can read on my bed with a bed lamp on and I can highlight and write notes in the margins. 

Mornings and evenings will be my best study times upon reflection. My sleep isn’t always ideal so I naturally get a bit run down in the afternoons. My meds make me clearer of thought because they take away the sh!t. But they also make me drowsy and sluggish. I need coffee throughout the day to stay energised. Also I can crave chocolate that makes me go into a sugar coma, just my way of saying I crash for a few hours, but I’m not sure if that’s related to anything med wise. 

Because im on the dsp I don’t get to see my psych as often as I’d like too, so sometimes I deal with stuff on my own. I’m so glad to have found these forums. 

I don’t know how to reply to everyone yet but I’ll just write as I can. 

Thank you!,

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Alacarte 

In my view diagnoses are not hard and fast, though there is a body of law and protocols.

Both my parents were diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.  I read about schizoaffective disorder when I was at uni, researching family things outside of my course work and I identify with many aspects of the disorder, but that might mean I was just very shy and introverted and had cptsd. 

It is possible to study with mi. I took my degree in Politics and English but note that there are no longer English departments in many unis.  Knowledge and the systems of education and health change ... 

All the previous posters have good points.

I hope you gain benefit from the forums.

[Alacarte]

Hi @Appleblossom 

Im not assuming for a second that my diagnosis’s are not real nor am I thinking that’s what you’re saying. My paranoia has cost me friends, girlfriends, my family and my health. All of those are coming back though as I treat myself through introspection, trying to gain insight into my conditions. And medication. For me that has been a godsend and i’d Not like to descend back into the rabbit hole I’ve come out of. 

I’m just hoping that my studies go well and that I can use these forums to understand more about myself and to continue my personal growth. 

😊

[Alacarte]

@Queenie thanks for your advice and a friend has suggested I do a vision board as well. So that could be on the cards 😊

[greenpea]

@Alacarte  Hi Alacarte hmmmm .... your symptoms sound alot like mine schizoaffective here bipolar1,  in as much as having periods where I am totally fine (this was in the past not so much now).  That would be the case until I got a trigger normally stress related and then Pow! back it would come with a vengence.

Now my meds have me well covered so that I haven't heard my voice or voices in a couple of years (thank God!). I still have paranoid delusions though which my psych and I will work on in the near future. greenpea

[Alacarte]

If anyone is listening I’m struggling with my thoughts at the moment. I started studying at the beginning of the week and I’m not making headway. I’m going over the same things 10 times and then getting lost. I’m procrastinating and I’m sleeping twice a day which isn’t unusual but I thought I could break it. I just have lost my way. I used to drink and gave up nearly 3 years ago. It’s been tough and at times like this I miss it. My thoughts are just so scattered. I’m taking my meds and wish I had something else, another magic pill, to take to quieter down the sh!t in my head. Negative talk and self doubt is getting me down. I’m trying to do the mindfulness STOP thing but it’s not working. The intrusive thoughts just keep coming. I’m going to keep listening to my music and try to find something inspirational on Apple Music.