Lived Experience Forum

[CheerBear]

Did you sleep OK @Teej? Anything you have to do today or can you have a recovery day?

[Teej]

I took lots of meds to sleep @CheerBear so I did sleep well. Just did the long wait centrelink call to be told I need to apply for the DSP but I know I’ll be rejected. I’m so confused. A week ago I felt like I was taking baby steps all by myself and now I am paralysed by fear and shame and am drugging myself not to be awake because I’m not safe when I’m awake. Sorry for the downer post. Today I’m supposed to see my friend but I don’t know if I’m up to it. I’m still in bed. 

How is your day shaping up? 

[CheerBear]

Oh that sucks so much @Teej 😔 I'm guessing your certificate was rejected? I have soooo much, I don't even know what the word is, for all things c-link. Fixing brain wants to ask whether you'd think about going through the process just in case and to buy some time as you don't have those requirements while an application is in progress. Feeling brain is sitting in the ugh-ness of it all with you. Angry explosive head wants to smash the system down 😡

You didn't write a downer post. I get how much flattening can happen with this one. If sleeping it off is what you need to do, then that's what you need to do. Will any of your team be able to help or to advocate for you with this do you think?

I am now on the road (stopped to get petrol - well timed seeing your message) and am kid free, so my day is looking good 😉. I'm heading to spotlight when I get back near my way and then I'll crochet for a while in a quiet house until friend comes over later tonight to stay. I'm looking forward to that 🙂

I better head off but will check in again later. Thinking of you lots 💗

[Teej]

Sounds like a great day @CheerBear 😊💜

i will talk to my psych about the DSP again. I see her in 8 days. 

[CheerBear]

I'm back 🙂 I feel like I've been running all over the place but am in a quiet, still house with a couple of cats and some pretty yarn. Totally worth running around for.

Did you make it to see your friend @Teej? I hope psych will be able to help when you see her again.

[Teej]

I didn’t make it to see my friend. The black hole has confined me to bed 🤯. I’ll see what tomorrow brings. 

[Teej]

Sorry @CheerBear. Conversation not my strong point. But it made me smile to know you’ve had a good day and a nice night planned. I hope you enjoy it. Can’t wait to see from your spotlight adventure if you can share at some point.  

[CheerBear]

Bed sounds like a good thing to have/be in in a black hole @Teej. Totally OK to be not up for chatting.

I'll share the new one im playing with when I've finished it. I've just started so it'l be a while away.

I hope the rest of your afternoon and evening goes along in a way that is right for you 💗

[Teej]

I am so so wound up. I have my appointment with psych in an hour and it feels like my future is hanging on this appointment. I have been so scared all week about how to deal with it and what’s to say or what not to tell. 

On a logical level I know I’m catastrophising it but on an emotional level I can’t get rid of the fear. 

🤯:nauseated_face:😧😱

[CheerBear]

Big breaths @Teej ❤ I really hope your appointment is helpful for you. You've got this x