Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Wondering if I'll ever find answers. 

[Appleblossom]

Great you are upskilling about attachment theory. @CheerBear 

But helping people is all about how things are applied and we each are unique.

That sounds terrible @Former-Member  the way you had it drummed into you.

I can relate to some aspects of your story, but maybe not as messed up in the foster system ... as I only had 2 ... and the 2nd lot were violent.and I was "happy" ha ha to go back to orphanages  ... anyway at 7 ... group homes seemed safer ...

I posted about attachment theory way back when I began on the forum ... as I was trying to shift the conversation ... from only talk about MH lables and meds and pdo cs .... just opening up things a bit.

Sometimes being a loner can feel safer ...

[Former-Member]

Oh the memories, I was placed in "residential therapeutic care home" in my teens, and I would rather have spent my teens in a straightjacket being tasered. In fact, a lot of the beyond awful involuntary psych admissions were eons better than that hellhole. And that's really saying something. 

Alone for me is a preference. Doesn't have any safety attached to it, because I am alone in the wrong body and having to force myself to exist when I'd much rather not. I understand why it is for a lot of others though, and I think maybe it would be if I didn't have the existence I do, or if it could change how I need it to.......

But that's wishful thinking. 

[Former-Member]

Wish I could communicate what's really going on, but at the same time, I know all too well that even if I could it wouldn't matter, because its not like anyone can actually do anything about it.