Lived Experience Forum

[wandering]

 Hello, I am new here, i hope I have picked the right forum for my question. I have had a very traumatic year and recently read about BPD. Before I came across it, I just felt like I was just going crazy because life was too hard. I havent been diagnosed yet but it would explain me and my behaviours this last 6 months so well. The rapid mood swings and feeling like a different person based on my mood, uncontrollable anger, loss of identity, no self worth, deep fears of abandonment and cutting off from everyone close to me, self destructive, harmful and suicidal behaviour etc... I am in south america at the moment but I cant go on like this anymore, and Im researching whether its good to go home or if I should go somewhere else. My home town is near Byron Bay, NSW and since its not a major city, I dont know what the treatment services are like, does anyone know of any services nearby this town that are very good or maybe even online if the ones close to home are not effective enough. Im very desperate for help and dont know where to turn anymore. If anyone has any ideas, I would really appreciate it. Thanks for reading xo

[Mazarita]

Hi @wandering and welcome to the forum. 🙂

Southern Gold Coast here. I don't specifically know of services around Byron Bay but, one thing I've regularly seen suggested on the forums (and has also worked for me) is to see a GP as a starting point for referrals to other assistance. That would be when you get back to your home area. Some of the troubles you mention have been similar with me over the years, though my diagnosis is bipolar. One online form of treatment that helped a bit recently was MoodGym. This is a basic course incorporating Cognitive Behavioural Therapy that I did over about 6 weeks, one module at a time. It's designed specifically for depression and anxiety but I think these are usually part of the problems you describe and that I experience. Other than that, I find being part of this forum has been helpful for me in various ways and see it too as part of my current 'coping kit' for mental health. Glad you have found us and hope to hear more about you.

[Acacia]

Hello @wandering and welcome to the Forums,

I’m glad you found us, all the way from South America! The emotions and behaviours you describe sound overwhelming. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to go through all of that when you’re away from your home and family and friends.

I know that everyone is different and this is just my opinion, but I think familiarity can be really helpful when you’re going through a difficult time, as can the support of people who’ve known you for a long time and who are able to recognise any behaviour that’s different from your usual self. Moving to a new place always takes an extra effort in establishing networks, finding places to do the things you enjoy, etc. Finding the energy to do all of that when you’re not feeling so great can be really hard.

Another thing to consider is the cost of treatment. In Australia, you can access a Medicare rebate for visits to a psychologist. Having said that, I know very little about the mental health care systems in other countries. Perhaps you could consider moving home to take a break and have an initial assessment and then think about what you’d like to do from there? As @Mazarita says, seeing a GP is a great place to start. They can then refer onwards to a psychologist or psychiatrist as they see fit.

Although you may recognise a lot of what you’ve read about borderline personality disorder in your behaviour, it’s important to remember that psychologists and psychiatrists have had several years of training in order to diagnose a mental illness from the various symptoms an individual might display. Even then, different individuals can display symptoms that might be present in a number of mental illnesses, as well as in individuals with no diagnosis of a mental illness. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the important thing is learning to manage the behaviours and emotions that you’re experiencing. For now, just being aware of those behaviours and emotions is a great start and will be a huge help when you go to explain what’s happening to your GP.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts knowing only what I’ve read from your post. I would love to hear what other members think about treatment in Australia compared to elsewhere in the world. I know  @Appleblossom has some international connections.

It would also be great to hear what others think about the role of friends and family, as well as being at home and being away, when taking steps toward recovery/management of a mental illness. Any thoughts?

@wanderingI hope you’ve been able to enjoy the amazing things to see in South America despite all that you’re going through. Welcome once again. Whatever you decide, I think you'll find the Forums a great place to share and find support.

[Appleblossom]

Unfortunately, @Acacia didnt fully understand .. my connections are ex-inlaws with a high standard of living who attend the MAYO clinic in the US.. so I dont think that is relevant unless you are rich.

My sister lived in Mexico for a while and I know that it is a bit more difficult to access decent health care in the south of America. I suspect unless you were well integrated it would be better to come back due to the severity of the your feelings ... but I dont know about level of commitments there .. eg partner children ... etc ... my sister returned with Mexican husband after 10 years and kids as it was tough ..

I would say that many medium size towns around Byron would have access to typical OZ level health care and@Mazarita decribed the current standard procedures for getting help.

I also self diagnosed myself with BPD but not sure etc ...

I am currently doing a Mindspot course run by Macquarie university..

www.mindspot.org.au

There are a range of online tools which might help in support while working through your decision making.

Good Luck @wandering

ps I wandered for a year when I was 20 and found I was glad to be back in Australia. Do what you have to do for you.

[Acacia]

Sorry for getting that mixed up @Appleblossom!

[Appleblossom]

No worries @Acacia

at least it showed you remembered something about my story and I wasnt in a never ending social vacuum.

[wandering]

Wow thank you so much for all of your responses, very helpful. My committments here are not at all so going home is OK, I just prefer to be elsewhere. But in this mental state, I wont be able to fully enjoy being anywhere 😞 I think going home is the right thing to do, starting with a GP and going from there. Its the best chance I have to get a little support from medicare aswell. I really need it. Thanks so much again for reading, the advice and giving my lost mind some directions. xoxo

[LillyEtAl]

DBT therapy works wonders with BPD @wandering if you have Health Insurance Currumbin has a group. Mullumbimby used to and the new Byron Hospital is supposed to be starting one. Hope that helps. Or you can see a Psychologist that does one on one therapy. You can also buy DBT work books that are really helpful. From a fellow local