Lived Experience Forum

[Caelthorn]

Hi,

I have CPTSD and Clinical Depression. While these two things affect my daily life in a big way and I have been dealing with these 'roadblocks' for 28 years, I always find ways of staying happy. Basically, I have a wealth of experience dealing with these disorders and would be very grateful to pass my knowledge and experience on to you people. My interests include writing poetry, which helps me to focus my sadness at times.

[Snowie]

Hi @Caelthorn

Welcome to the Sane Forums, it is nice to meet you.

I'm so glad to hear that you are in a good place with your mental health and that you have things in place to be able to help yourself. I would love to read some of your poetry at some stage.

That is so nice to offer your experience for other members. I'm sure they would be really grateful. It is so easier to click with someone when they have past experiences too.

Please feel free to jump in on any conversation you feel like. 

Looking forward to seeing you around the forums.

Snowie

[hanami]

Hi @Caelthorn and welcome to the forums! It's really great that you have found us here.

I'm sorry you've had your challenges through your life but I am happy you've found ways to get you through things.

I would love to read some of your poetry one day if you are up to sharing!

Looking forward to seeing you around

Hanami

[EssSea]

Hi @Caelthorn,

I am interested in understanding what you have tried in terms of treatment. Both pharmacologic, psychotherapy, and non traditional. I was first diagnosed with C-PTSD in 2016, and was in denial up until a confirmed diagnosis a month ago. My psychiatrist remind me that I am not my condition. It's just really hard to think of myself in that way. Did you have trouble coming to terms? 

Thank you so much for your guidance. 

EssSea

[tyme]

I sort of know where you are coming from @EssSea . When I was told I had CPTSD, I was like, "What?! No I don't!"

But yes, coming to terms with it made me realise that there were things that were out of my control that made me who I was. 

I don't blame anyone for things that have happened, but it means I don't blame myself either.

So true, you are not your condition 🙂

[EssSea]

@tyme 

Thank you for you reply! I am new here and I wasn't sure how long I would need to wait to meet someone who could relate to how I was feeling. 

I am grateful to be quite high functioning, but does make it difficult to come to terms with. 

I am reading a book called Complex PTSD from Surviving to Thriving. The author mentions yoga as complementary to EMDR. So when I get back from a work trip on 10th Sept, I am hoping to start a regular practice while I wait for an opening in EMDR sessions. Have you tried EMDR, yoga, any other techniques? 

[fluffylight]

Welcome @EssSea 🙂
A very warm welcome awaits you in these forums.

Wanted to chip in and say I am part of the C-PTSD denial club! You are not alone 💛

The book you're reading is on my book list because all this feels very complicated to fathom.

Sending lots of gentle vibes to you and lots of light you way 💛
fluffylight

[tyme]

Hey @EssSea ,

I haven't tried EMDR, nor yoga. My main therapy was MBT due to my BPD which developed from CPTSD.

Sorry so many acronyms. Let me know if you want an explanation of each 🙂

I was also very high functioning, but it didn't stop my emotional dysregulation and anxiety. All through my life, I've been working. It was sometimes hard to get help because people saw that I was working and assumed everything was ok.... which it wasn't.

It's great to see you have a few goals set out for yourself in terms of yoga. However, I have to say I attended a mindfulness group and made myself practice mindfulness each night using the Smiling Mind App. I definitely saw a change. I learnt to control my breathing which was so helpful when things were tough.

[tyme]

Do you have a stressful job @EssSea ?

[EssSea]

Oh wow, very relatable. People think I am OK, when I am experiencing something inside that the word "overwhelmed" doesn't even come close to.

I Googled emotional dysregulation as well which was a new definition for me to describe all those signs and symptoms. Thank you. 

Yes, I have a stressful job. My first role out of uni was much more stressful and traumatic but this one is stressful in other ways. I am now mid senior in a large organisation that is under going  a restructure. There is poor leadership and even poorer change management practices. I really like my boss though and I am learning so much and the content is good. So as long as none of that changes I can focus on learning and growing. That's my approach for now. I'd like to be able to talk to my boss in real terms what is going on for me but I don't want to tell her and then a week later I have a new boss. This is the fourth week of this restructure so hopefully the dust will settle soon.  

Oh and thank you for reminding me about Smiling Mind. I also have Balance which is good. Any tips on how to be more consistent @tyme? I know seeing it as a priority is a good start!! 😊