Lived Experience Forum

[Sarahrf97]

Hi everyone, 

im 18 weeks pregnant with my second baby. I have an amazing partner and a healthy baby but i feel as if something is always missing. I should be so happy but I feel lonely and can’t help but think back to times I had no kids and had more of a social life. 
i hate how I feel like this, I hate no having any friends who I trust.. motherhood is so lonely. 
Are there any other mums or parents here? 

[tyme]

Welcome to the forums @Sarahrf97 ,

I'm so glad you have found the forums. It's so brave of you to reach out and share some of how you are feeling.

Have you spoken to a doctor about your concerns? Pregnancies send hormones everywhere, and this may be impacting on the way you are feeling right now.

I'm sure there are others here who have experienced motherhood in a similar way. I will tag some mothers who may be able to shed light on some of what is happening for you right now. @Shaz51 @Anastasia 

Do you feel you have a support network around you who you can turn to?

Take care and looking to hear from you,

tyme

[Sarahrf97]

Thankyou so much for your quick reply! I have a beautiful mother and sister who I feel close to and of course my partner who is so supportive but I don’t have many friends besides people at work. I feel as if my lack of friends and no social connection besides my partner is making me feel so lonely. 
i wish I had more people to speak to about the motherhood journey. It can be really hard and lonely. X

[tyme]

Good evening @Sarahrf97 ,

With your first child, do you go to any playgroup or mothers' groups? They are often a good place for connection.

I'm not sure where you live, but local councils often run services for mothers. Have you tried looking into these?

Motherhood is no easy journey. There are a lot of sacrifices which have to be made. But despite this, motherhood is also very rewarding. Is it possible to have the joy without the sorrow? I'm not sure you can.

You are definitely not alone. I'm glad you have your mother and sister to talk to. It can make all the difference.

At your next check-up, perhaps it is a good idea to share some of your concerns with your doctor?

Take care,

tyme

[greenpea]

@Sarahrf97  Hi Sarahrf97 welcome to the forums. I had pre and post pregnancy depression  which gradularly got worse with each of my pregnancies. What saved me and my children was a super psychologist. I didnt need medication but saw my doctor regularly.  Take good care of yourself you are not alone. Love peaxxx

[Shaz51]

Hello @Sarahrf97 

How are you going today 

Thanks for the tag @tyme 

I am unable  to have children of my own but I became a step mum of 4 children 

I will tag a few mum for you @Faith-and-Hope , @Appleblossom , @eth , @frog 

[Eve7]

Hi @Sarahrf97 and welcome to the forum.

I’m a grandmother of 5 now but I so remember my days as a young mum being very lonely.

I was used to working outside the home in a challenging environment and it took me ages to settle in at home so even though it was a long time ago I had similar feelings to what you’re experiencing.

I hope you can join a mothers group when you start your maternity leave and make connections with others. Maybe your GP can help with that.

Motherhood is tough and we mostly fumble our way through.

Here for you anytime if you want to chat 💕💙

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Sarahrf97 

Lovely you  WILL have a baby and some good people around.

Moods and feelings may come and go, but the daily pressure will be huge and so self care is important.

Somehow I believe the pressures to a perfect mother are huge in current times.  I do not believe earlier generations faced it to the same degree ... there are no perfect mothers or children ... but it is alright to a good enough mum to your own utterly adoreable child, who will also be frustrating, cos that is the nature of life.

If you are stretched too thin chasing unrealisitc standards, focus in on the baby and your self with love.

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @Sarahrf97 I can empathise with those feelings of loneliness. I have 2 kids of my own and I still at times miss my old life. It's a really hard and exhausting journey but also so rewarding and beautiful. It sounds like you have good support but I'm wondering if you should chat to a midwife about how you're feeling? I found it helpful to speak up about how I was feeling. Are you involved in a mothers group from your first child? If not, I know in some places the community nurses are able to organise mothers groups for second time mums. Might be worth asking? Playgroups are also really good and when mine started preschool I was able to meet people through that. We are here if you need a chat and thank you for reaching out 💝

Popping some numbers here for you that may be of use PANDA  Gidget Foundation  

[Sarah102]

Have you thought about joining a mother's group?