Lived Experience Forum

[autisticadult]

Hi….frankly I’m not even sure where to start.
I am a diagnosed adult autistic, I have a great full time job…but I have so much past trauma that I have never ever dealt with I’m getting to the point where I’m starting to think along the lines of “50 is a good innings”….

I am having a hard time dealing with perimenopause symptoms which just affect everything these days.

I have been to so many psychologists in recent years - to tell them my story…only to be told after one or two sessions that they cannot help me…kind of makes you feel like you are just damaged beyond repair. 
Anyone that actually deals with adult autism patients is either horrendously priced or has a waiting list of anything up to six months - fat lot of good that does when your thoughts right now are getting darker and darker….

I have extremely rigid thinking issues….limerance issues…..severe loneliness as I live in a part of Australia where I have no family and very friends (who are hard enough to come by as an autistic adult) plus a myriad of other things and I often think that nobody wants to hear it, and besides there are people out there worse off than me….

I have a great professional job that I love….but I have meltdowns and problems around emotional regulation these days - which I never ever had and constantly find myself wishing I could go back to the person I was when I was 30 before all the trauma happened….but I can’t.

I have been told I’m suspect ADHD as well and I don’t even want to go down that diagnosis path because it would seem professionals are just not able to help me in my experience anyway….

Maybe I should just check myself into a mental health ward and give up. I don’t know. 

[hanami]

Hi @autisticadult 

So sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment. I also want to say welcome to the forums - I'm one of the peer workers here. I started going through perimenopause about 10 years ago (at 44) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I already took medication for my anxiety and when I saw my GP she suggestion HRT. It is the best thing I did. My symptoms didn't disappear but they really eased a lot. Do you have a GP you can talk to about the symptoms of perimenopause? So many women are in the same boat. I used to admin an amazing group on FB for perimenopausal women which has 29000 members!

Warmest wishes

Hanami

[SmilingGecko]

Hello @autisticadult 

You've done very well for yourself so don't be so harsh.  Menopause can bring up lots of things. When I was peri menopausal had a few hot flushes. I did follow the advice of women's health pioneer Christiane Northrup who has appeared on TV shows like Oprah. She put out some audio material on menopause which I highly benefitted from.  There may be books of hers and audios available from your local library!

I just ate a wholefoods diet most of my life and cut out the junk as she recommended and my menopause was somewhat easier than most peoples. She believes menopause starts in your 30's so having a healthy diet from that point on can guarantee that you will have an easier experience. If you couldn't do that there are other tips she can recommend as she has treated menopausal women all her life and has seen it all.

There are natural hormonal creams you can use like wild yam. Some folks do HRT, it wasn't my approach but I respect their choice in that as they say its changed their life when there weren't other options. I have also heard about bioidentical hormones but I would suggest to do your due diligence when researching your health options there.

With trauma there are many things you can do now yourself. Lately I have seen things on Epsilon brainwave entrainment which is said to access deep trauma in the brain. You can learn about this online. Google "Epsilon brainwave entrainment and trauma"

I also use Sapien Medicine audios (you tube) on clearing negativity which works every time I do it. If I enter a dark space I play the audio with headphones on and it just releases the toxicity, totally guaranteed. I used to get his audios for free off You Tube but now subscribe to his Patreon channel for a meagre amount to get access to other exclusive audio content. He did also have a free audio on trauma I think also on you tube which may be free.

I could not get access to counselling either and even then I wondered whether it would work. I think having a congenial therapeutical environment can be good for building on personal strengths but to this day wonder about the efficacy of treating trauma as many therapists I've read in literature admit they don't know adequately how to treat it.  Its one of those problems that they have difficulty with.

Anyway I'm glad you reached out. There are so many options. I'm glad to be able to be here for you and provide personal insights. I hope you pick up for the rest of the afternoon. Feel free to navigate the site and use this service to whatever your need.

Take care! ❤️

[autisticadult]

Hi hanami - thank you.

Unfortunately HRT/the pill are things I cannot take due to contraindications in other areas of my health.
I’ve definitely spoken to my GP about this and they recommended therapy/CBT etc because I finally came off antidepressants 2 years ago after being on them for over 7 years and those side effects are far worse in the long run (lack of sex drive, weight gain, lack of motivation let alone the physical withdrawal symptoms when I forget a day….) I refuse to be just another pill popper because that’s the easy fix as a result….
I just want someone who I can talk to and help me process…

[autisticadult]

Thank you smiling_gecko - some ideas I can look into

[hanami]

No worries @autisticadult . Just want to say that many of the members here take medication so maybe be mindful of that when you use terms such as 'pill popper'. I take medication for anxiety and have never thought of myself as a pill popper. It's not an easy fix, you still have to 'do the work'. The medication just takes the edge of the physical symptoms. 

I know you meant no offense, but just a gentle message to be mindful. 

Thanks @autisticadult 

[tyme]

Hey @autisticadult ,

I see you are looking at alternatives to medication. Do you currently engaged in any sort of therapy? 

We are here if you need a chat.

[autisticadult]

This is not the place for me. I need help not picking up on words - I hear that ever single day as an autistic person about what I have said. This doesn’t help being “told off” publicly like this - why couldn’t you have privately advised me.

Thanks for nothing - don’t bother trying to find me I’ll just delete EVERYTHING the. Everyone else can be happy cause I won’t offend anyone ever again.