Lived Experience Forum

[Guineapig]

33F, I have a past history of trauma, dysthymia and SUD. There has been discussion of borderline personality disorder and autism as well. I’ve recently been in a placement program with university and I’ve found myself sabotaging my progress. I’m at risk of being kicked out because I can’t manage my stress. I’ve been terrified that I’ll succeed then they’ll find out I’m a bad person for being an ex drug addict and discharged bankrupt and I’m not fit to do the role I’ve spent 6 years studying for. 

coming here to try and make amends before it’s too late.

[tyme]

Hey @Guineapig ,

Welcome to the forums. Well done for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to share what's been happening for you. I'm sorry you live with anxiety around being 'kicked out' of the course you are doing. 

Being an ex-drug addict doesn't mean you are not fit to do the role. Rather, it takes enormous strength, courage and resilience to persevere and do something better for yourself. The only time where there may be a hinderance is when there is a police record, and your job requires a police check.

Have you approached the uni to see if you can get any supports in place? I'm sure universities are not there to see you fail. They want to be able to help you.

When I was going through uni, I had a reasonable adjustment plan in place to help me through. At the beginning of each semester, I would reach out to my unit co-ordinators to let have a chat about my needs. I'm wondering if you have been able to do this also?

You are not alone. Please take care and we look forward to hearing from you.

[Guineapig]

I haven’t told my university about anything because I don't have supporting documentation. The counsellors I spoke with dis not want to continue the discussion without evidence. I'm hoping sane can 

connect me with low or free services. Im fortunate that i have no criminal record. I'm hoping that I can confess to my supervisor, and do remedial work to make amends.  

[tyme]

I'm really sorry to hear that you feel you need to 'confess' @Guineapig . I'm wondering if you meeting with your supervisor to tell them you are working through some mental health challenges at the moment may be helpful for you?

SANE has a Guided Service which you may be interested in looking at. You can see if you are eligible here.

Placement work may be a bit harder because there are specific criteria workplaces need to sign off on. However, perhaps you can get support with other parts of your studies.

We look forward to hearing from you.

[SmilingGecko]

Hello @Guineapig 

Do you know what I'm listening to right now?  Its a subliminal audio that gets things to work in your favor. It has rain sounds with subliminals that say "everything always works out in my favor" silently in the background so your subconscious will accept it. Its in a 60 minute loop. Thought I'd pass along. I just downloaded it off the computer and put on my ipod.

I wouldn't discuss anything with your supervisor even if you think it would give you some relief. I had a friend studying pharmacy. He was in his final year and disclosed he had schizophrenia and got booted out. I didn't agree with him doing pharmacy but yes the Dean ejected him out of uni. He sabotaged himself.  Don't allow that to happen to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Bb4X6AxeqQ