Lived Experience Forum

[S_M_]

I have bipolar II. I am struggling with not trusting my head and my decision making ability. I REALLY want to leave my long term supportive partner but I have a good life. But in my heart and head I want to leave. I'm struggling with sitting on these thoughts for a week or so. I have talked about with my partner and put strain on our relationship. I have feelings for another man, who is great but would ultimately not offer me the same lifestyle I live now. I feel like a crazy person for wanting to leave, throw my life away, turn everything upside down and explore the potential with this other man. My head and heart say "leave, you only live once and don't want to regret the things you didn't do"... but there is no logical reason to leave my perfectly good life. HELP

[tyme]

Hey @S_M_ ,

It sure sounds like a difficult space to sit in. I'm sorry to hear you are battling these opposing thoughts. 

Has something happened for you to want to leave your current partner?

[MissMuffet]

Oh @S_M_  that sounds really hard.

You mentioned that you are bipolar II, do your moods often have an impact on those kinds of thoughts? I wonder maybe if you have a desire for some "newness" or excitement in your life?

I have had these kinds of feelings and they do tend to pass, sometimes I might meet someone who makes me feel a certain way but after a couple of week they fade. 

As it's only been a week you might just be in that place where you want to upend everything but it could be just a temporary feeling. Perhaps you could find some other outlet for this craving of adventure and see how you feel?

Or to play devil's advocate, don't you think you would have left already if you really wanted to?