Lived Experience Forum

[perspective]

Hello fellow wise ones

i bought a dog over a year ago and I made friends with a local woman and we would have doggie dates . I believed it to be a casual friendship nothing too over the top and we hardly spoke on the phone. I always felt a little uneasy with her but the dogs loved each other so I continued. We joined a book club together. I noticed on a first dinner out in public that she would be eye rolling and shaking her head when I was talking. I also noticed on another occasion that sitting next to her she was blocking me from the conversation by turning her back to me- I was seated at the end of the table. There have just been these instances when I’ve felt quite uncomfortable. So I thought I’m going to keep observing and see what happens. We book clubbians became quite friendly and would meet up a bit. I did however notice that she would talk to others with enthusiasm and I would get very minimal responses. Just before Xmas we had a get together and she said I can bring the dog and they can play together. I had no idea we would be dining inside and the dogs would be outside. Anyway after about 20 mins I went outside to check my dog, her dog started to push to get inside and I wasn’t able to stop him getting in. About 20 mins later I repeated my action and she started shouting at me about letting the dog in. I stayed the rest of the evening and faked enjoyment, and left early. I took the long way home with my dog and decided at the end of the night i didn’t want to know her anymore. I unfriendly her on Facebook and few weeks after sent these members a message on our small group that I won’t be coming anymore as I don’t like bullies or people who condone bullying. She sent a laugh emoji and told me that I didn’t adhere to her house rules. I recently saw a post of them together calling themselves the book club bitches. Ye!

[greenpea]

@perspectivesounds like you did the right thing and got them out of your life. You wont find that kind of behavior here. Welcome. greenpea😊xx

[LookingHopeful]

Wow @perspective , sounds like a bizarre situation and I think you have done well and certainly it is a better thing to not engage with someone anymore but it must be hard as it means you might lose others who you have connected with in your mutual groups. 

I had a housemate back in the day that as soon as I introduced her to my wider friendship group she absolutely started blocking me and doing things with my friends without me. In the end it was so much better to not worry about it and just walk away. We were friends for many many years and now there is nothing between us, it is for the better if she was going to be treating me the way she did. Time has healed a lot and we have to continue to walk our own paths. At least you were strong enough to realise the behaviour sooner.

Sending love ❤️

[perspective]

So update on this crap is thus:

have been unable to post on Facebook for a month so it has prevented me from going ballistic all over social media. 
yesterday ban lifted so I put a couple of smart arse memes under the photo of the book club bitches who have supported the bully. I’ve been unfriended - I’m ok with that
I also sent a message to book club organiser about what happened - it didn’t really make any difference in fact I think my explanation made this worse.  

problem is I’m finding it hard to move forward. I feel like I’m always getting rejected . I had to cancel my shrink appointment because I thought I might have covid. 
I live in a country town on my own and honestly I feel like the town mad woman