Lived Experience Forum

[Cats101]

I'm in a constant state of crisis. Looking for a job is like looking for a needle in a haystack, constantly looking at each and every individual piece of hay to find the needle.

you get tired of looking at evey single piece of hay.

Looking and applying to different jobs and getting rejected constantly, is like a punch to the gut, I need a job, I need to have money to pay bills and help out my family, I don't want to keep relying on them and being a burden.

my first job I had was helping out at a small Cafe, I managed a week and a half before I had a meltdown and anxiety attack, it was a stressful job, they new I Had social anxiety and i asked not to be put at the register, but they completely ignored that and kept pushing and pushing, my boss was always angry always stressed and took it out on others, they expected me to do well, when I had only a little experience that  they taught me, communicating was like talking to a brick wall.

I'm stuck in a bubble searching through hay to find a needle to pop the bubble, I lm sick of being told to be patient and that I'd get a job soon or aventually, I need one now, where I'm not dependant of my family to pay my bills And buy things that I need.

Sorry I kind of vented, I know it's not a big worry, but I just can't help but think what a burden I am.

[Jynx]

Hey @Cats101 I think this is the perfect space to have a vent, I'm glad you decided to post - better than keeping it all bottled up. And you are not a burden for having needs that you're struggling to meet. Finding a job is soooo hard these days, especially for those of us who have mental health struggles. We can't just get any old job, we have to find something that will not end up leaving us feeling worse or antagonising our mental health issues. It's hard. 

I hope you're also taking some time amongst your job-searching activities to do the things that you love, spend time with friends, and get out into nature. As they say, job hunting is itself a full-time job, and it's important to continue doing the things that nourish us along the way 💜

[hluppy]

Hi @Cats101 Thank you for sharing this with us, and no need to apologise! You are certainly not a burden and I'm sure those who know you would love you just as you are. It sounds like you are going through a really tough time at the moment! You say that it is not a big worry, but it does seem to be. Rightly so, as finding work is difficult, and I know when I was trying to find work, it became my full time job almost - looking for new jobs each day, applying, updating my resume and cover letter, getting rejections, maybe getting some interviews, but then not the job. But eventually the right one came along. It is exhausting, so I hope you are also giving yourself some time out just to do the things you enjoy or to have a break. You also mention social anxiety. I have struggled with this, and when it was at it's worst I looked for work that was either online or didn't involve interacting with customers, at least face to face. Might this be an option for you? Also don't forget you can add your strengths, abilities and interests into a resume that is outside of your work experience. Maybe have a look online for some examples of how to do this...after you take a break for yourself! 🙂