Hey @Former-Member welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that things are tipping into crisis point for you, but very glad that you're safe - thanks for making sure you let us know that in your post.
To answer your question - I think for me it was always about talking it through with someone. Either a close/trusted friend, or a mental health professional. And it took me way too long to decide I needed to do that, I lived with suicidal ideation (SI) for years before I actually sought help. Didn't think I was that unwell... hindsight is 20/20 eh? Do you have any ongoing therapy support or a close person you feel safe to confide in?
Another option is helplines. If you're in crisis mode, calling Lifeline or SCBS is your best bet, they're 24/7, or call 000 if you're in immediate danger. For the not-quite-crisis-but-still-really-struggling moments, there's a couple you could try. SANE have one, it's available 10am-8pm weekdays on 1800 187 263. We also have an ongoing telehealth service available, you can find more info at that link as well. Beyond Blue also have a helpline, and there's a couple of lists of other options here and here.
Other things to try:
Distraction - for me, the SI wasn't constant, it would often come and go in waves. So finding ways to keep my mind busy during a strong SI wave was incredibly helpful.
Community - connect with friends and family, find support groups, or even just chatting with the lovely folks here on the forums is an awesome way to keep yourself safe.
Build a safety plan - When we're super distressed, our frontal lobe can go offline somewhat, meaning logic/decision-making goes out the window and it can feel impossible to think of things to do to support ourselves. Building a safety plan can help by having all your coping tools, resources, and forms of support laid out already so you can just refer back to it when needed. You can find tools for building a safety plan here and here.
You mention struggling with memories that are coming up. Are you experiencing flashbacks at all? You can find tips for coping with flashbacks here.
Remember, feelings are only visitors - they never last forever. They don't need to define us. I hope this helps you to find some new things to add to your toolkit when it comes to coping with those harder moments 💜
Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs)
Suicide callback service (24 Hrs)
Kids helpline (24 Hrs)
13 YARN