Lived Experience Forum

[Sans911]

Definitely @BPDSurvivor

[Sans911]

@Former-Member--yes, I agree the forums are tough to navigate at times. It just takes understanding them, what is acceptable, respectful and what doesn't make others feel too triggered or uncomfortable. And that isn't easy to do all those things all the time because they are so many people here, with so many experiences, living with a spectrum of mental health issues, and affected by so many variables at any one time. And I don't believe you're using your DID as an excuse. It's very real & valid for you. You live with it every day. No one understands that better than you.

What happens in the forums sometimes, particularly with new members, is that suddenly they have found a space and platform that they can be open, vulnerable and where others understand their experiences. It feels good to be in that space, and share everything. But in doing so, it might mean others feel the need to be supportive beyond what they are capable of, particularly if they need to be supportive continuously.This doesn't apply to you alone at all , but at the time of your arrival, there were multiple members experiencing varying levels of distress. The forum felt 'uneasy' and others who also had their own challenges felt triggered and uncomfortable. They didn't even need to know specifically what was going on, because it was rippling through the forums.

Everyone and anyone should be able to share whatever is going on for them, but I guess where it gets hard is that other members, your peers, aren't trained to deal with distressing and crisis situations. Even if they were, it's not practical or wise to provide crisis support, especially say if someone is suicidal or self harming. That level of support needs to come from professionals outside the forums. But if you don't have that, where do you go to get that? That's where navigating and being in the forums is harder, because people deserve that support, but I guess having a level of self awareness that this space mightn't be the best place to seek help for ongoing issues. There's no easy answer,and even now for me, it's a constant learning process.

I think the best thing is to try not worry about what is done in the past. It can't be undone. Things have settled considerably in the last few days. The forums will always go through upheavals from time to time.

You're doing just fine here. You are loved, respected and wanted here. As is @Lee82 and so many others.

[Former-Member]

@Sans911 , it makes me feel so sick that I have contributed to anyone's stress levels. I never meant that to happen. You where right I got lost in this place of unwavering support, the first time I was able to tell my story and not be judged or condemned for being mentally ill. I wish it hadn't taken so long to get email to be honest. Thank you for your kind words lovely. I hope I can still class you as a friend, I would hate to lose that. I am so sorry. 💜Izzy

[Lee82]

Hey @Sans911  i heard every word you have said and I can't help but feel it was directed at me. I am so sorry if I caused problems on the forum and made people feel uncomfortable. I came on the forum at a time where I was really desperate for someone to talk to and I guess I went a little too full on. I feel uncomfortable a lot of the time being on here because I know there are some people who don't necessarily want me to be around but I have nowhere else to turn. Having considered what a lot of people have written lately I'm thinking perhaps my time here may be up. However I cannot fully stop visiting this forum as I have made a few very close friendships and cannot stop checking in on them. They mean way too much to me.
 I'm so sorry for what has happened I didn't mean any of that to happen and I hope I will be forgiven for it all. Other than my daily check in with a few members I will no longer post about myself and my MH and hopefully that will help the other members feel comfort enough to roam the forum. 
again I am very sorry @Sans911 

I just wanted to feel like I had someone to share my struggles with. 
@outlander @Former-Member @Former-Member 

[Sans911]

Izzy, I know you feel the need to apologise, but it isn't necessary sweetheart. All any of us want to do when some is in crisis or distress is to be helpful and supportive. We understand completely what it feels like when no body understands how it feels. But when that support needs to continue for many members, as was the case at the time, those supporters struggled. They desperately wanted to be there for everyone, but they were struggling too. Yes, they were stressed, but to be honest, we worry about our friends here all the time. Whether you are here or not. Like right now someone I cherish is misding, and left a coded message last Friday. I'm really worried about her, and won't be OK until she hopefully comes back. And of course you remain my friend. Always. Love and hugs💕💕💕

@@Former-Member 

[Sans911]

@Lee82-iI have edited this post significantly. If you're  OK to read it again, I'd like that. I'll leave it up to you. I hope it comes across in a more gentle way.

I only tagged you into Izzy's post at the bottom to have you read that bit because you deserve to be here too, and are very much loved and wanted by so many people.But you might have found the other info useful as well.

I've said it before that you have every right to be here, what's been written by you isn't a distater or even that bad. You were expressing you heart, soul and feelings. That's absolutely acceptable to do that, until there reaches a point where you needed help outside these forum because your peers couldn't provide that. It was distressing for us to hear you in such emotional pain and turmoil and it left us feeling helpless, and uncertain, and fearful that we would loose you to suicide. Nobody wants you to leave like that. We only want to see you eventually feel good about being alive, and finding some light & joy in life. I don't want you to stop posting about yourself, your struggles, your life Lee because that's important and necessary for you, and you deserve that as much as anyone else here. But I guess what you need to realise that when you're in distress, we will always be supportive and helpful, but there might be a limit to that.

Somehow, you need to find a way or a professional that can help you deal with your problems like the FBs and the self harm. And you might be doing that already. I know it takes time.

All anyone wants here for anyone else, including you, is to see you having a better life. Life free from emotional pain.

I just wanted anyone reading it to know that everyone deserves to be here, but we also have to have our own level of self awareness to know when these forums can't help. Much love 💜 💜

[Sans911]

I'm really sorry @Lee82. It wasn't targeted directly at you. I did think about leaving you out of the conversation and I probably should have done so. I'm so sorry. 💕 💕 💕

[outlander]

hey @Lee82 @Former-Member @Sans911 @Former-Member (and everyone as well )
ive just been reading back on this thread and the darkness thread, I wasn't to sure where to write so ill just post here.
You both had abit of a rocky start here trying to work out how to post, how to connect with others and also learning your own self awareness especially during the most exciting stage of being here- being heard and validated and connecting with others who get it what we are going through. These are things that do take time but you have both learnt so much and improved your interaction really well here including how to also support yourselves, when to ask for help offline and asking for help here too.
We all make mistakes and we are all constantly learning, I don't think we ever stop tbh. ive been here mmm close to 4 years I think it is now and I cannot count how many mistakes and mishaps ive had here but each one I have learnt from and moved forward to better myself.
You guys are loved, wanted and we all want to support you as well as appreciating the support you offer to us and other members too. I really hope that what has been said here isn't taken to heart as I know that what @Sans911 and others have said come from a place that is caring, only wanting to help, and not intentionally directed at anyone in particular.

whats done is done now and its in the past, we are all moving forward and I really hope that we can all do the same. We love having you around and I know myself and other members have connected with you after being able to talk, support and also be supported by yourselves.

much love to you all

[Lee82]

@Sans911 Please don't be upset hun. You were just speaking the truth and I thank you for that. I am not upset with what you said it just helped me realise a few things so for that thank you. You are an amazing supportive member to everyone on the forum. You are a beautiful person Sans. So very caring and gentle and the forum is very lucky to have you around and I thank you for all the support you have shown me. 
please you have done nothing wrong you have said nothing wrong. You have just spoken the truth and that is all everyone asks for on this forum so for that again I say thank you. And thank you for being such a great friend to all members. Much love Sans💗

@outlander @Former-Member @Former-Member 

[Lee82]

I also want to say @Sans911  i am very grateful that you included me in the discussion. I would have felt left out and ignored if you didn't so thank you for that too 💗