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03-02-2024 01:59 PM
03-02-2024 01:59 PM
I punched a whole in my wall.
I am 34; I have bipolar and c-ptsd, I am medication compliant, I work hard - I try every single day to be better, to be strong and to survive.
But I feel like I fail. Today I lost my cool, I can't sleep or eat, I am exhausted. I yelled, I was mean and I punched the wall so hard it left a whole. I covered it with a painting my sister did of the Brisbane river. I hate feeling like this, I hate being triggered, feeling alone and being lonely. I wish it would end.
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03-02-2024 02:58 PM
03-02-2024 02:58 PM
Re: I punched a whole in my wall.
I’m so sorry to hear this @Lemmings . Many people have experienced something similar. I know I have. I’m not proud of it. I still get triggered now, but less and my reaction is less intense. I had therapy in ACT. I found that helpful in understanding my anger and emotional state.
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03-02-2024 03:32 PM
03-02-2024 03:32 PM
Re: I punched a whole in my wall.
I hope it gets better for you like it has for me I stil get triggered but not as much like that anymore
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03-02-2024 04:07 PM
03-02-2024 04:07 PM
Re: I punched a whole in my wall.
Hi Lemmings, I'm sorry you're feeling this way - I think I am feeling the same way as you right now. I also have bipolar, and currently feeling pretty flat (not properly depressed, just flat). I'm compliant with meds and try hard to do the right things and yet it still feels like shit sometimes. I know this doesn't help you, but it feels kind of nice for me knowing I'm not alone out here.
I really hope things don't have to always be this hard for us. It's pretty tiring working so hard and still feeling like you're failing.
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04-02-2024 08:34 PM
04-02-2024 08:34 PM