Lived Experience Forum

[Maggie]

Hi @Former-Member, great to see you here. as far as I know DID is difficult to diagnose, also many psychiatrists won't go there because of the things you mentioned, hard to explain understand and it's  just to out there. Lol. It develops in very young children, too young to face the abuse. I just knew I was different, odd. I personally find the media have frightened rather than explained DID. I don't know much about autism. The child in you will be able to guide you, they are the ones who know, believing them is another thing. I have finally learned to,listen, believe and , I'm trying to embrace these little ones inside. I also don't have a sense of self, maybe because there are selves. I'm trying to work that one out, I should say we are trying, as  in my inner family.

[Maggie]

@Former-Member Wow I am impressed with your daughter atm. She seems to be striding ahead. This must be a great relief for you. I wonder if she's worried about your present situation also.

You have some testing times ahead of you, waiting being one of the worst. I hope you and hubby can manage some relaxation during this time. Your friends sound supportive and wanting to help. I know you don't want to burden them, but sometimes not sharing can be a burden, as they assume what might not be true or real. I hope that makes some sense.

As I mentioned to @Faith-and-Hope the visitor is very confusing atm, so I'm just coasting quietly. She's working in my garden, here there and everywhere. I'm concerned but just watching, staying til 11 pm is really out of character. Her sister comes home from hospital on Tuesday, she may simply be making the most of her last days of freedom.

We are headed for 19 today, a hot one. Lol and I'm getting ready for another visit. I'm exhausted as I have to be on alert. Everything passes, this will to. I'm heading over to your other thread now, hoping to see a pic of Angel. I hope your day goes well.

[Maggie]

@Faith-and-Hope The pic is so beautiful. I wonder if you could think about entering in the community garden. Just a thought.

[Former-Member]

Hello my dear friend @Maggie

Yes, my daughter has taken a big step forward. Is also gracious to us and working very hard. For now she is really trying. Fingers crossed it continues.

Waiting in a situation like ours is the worst my friend. I wouldn't wish it on anyone and it's been a week of turmoil for myself and husband. But today is a beautiful day outside and we are just going to forget our struggles for now and live in the now. We are heading out for a walk along the beach and then will visit friends. A nice break to ground us before we have to face the onslaught that is coming 😊. I do feel positive we will beat this but I also know what we will have to go through. 

I do totally understand what you mean about not sharing the burden can be a burden. The weight of not halving the emotional trauma can be crushing. I am so grateful to have some friends like you on here.  I do find it difficult now to ask for moral support in person  - I may have to bite the bullet at some stage.

Your visitor's actions sounds like someone who is highly distressed and anxious about something; her adrenaline levels are going through the roof and she is working it off. High anxiety. And/or it could be attention seeking behaviour as well. Don't let it drag you down my friend - it's good to heIp others but not to be manipulated. Knowing the difference can be an art and take acute discernment. I have learnt this over the years. Sometimes people will do anything for attention from others to get their way as they are self absorbed. They are the true drama queens.

Although I don't think this is the case with your friend but I have experienced emotional manipulation to the degree that the manipulator will claim "they don't want to be here anymore" to solely draw  attention to themselves - especially if they feel the desired person/s attention is being taken by someone else. And they will make out it's the fault of the person they are jealous of (whose taking away their greedy need for attention). Your intuition of the situation with the visitor will guide you there as I can only go by what you say. Be careful not to be dragged down by it. It's okay to step back and leave her to it. She will settle.

My daughter use to be very emotionally manipulative to get her way (not now as she realises it doesn't work) - to the point she would threatened suicide if I didn't do this or that. Shockingly cruel to do that to those who love them, to put them through that distress, as she had tried it once. So I stood back and became emotionally detached - no choice as it's emotional blackmail. Not right to do that to people regardless if they are not well. I did not give into her and she never did it. And she never threatened again. It takes personal discernment of the situation. Very difficult at the time.

Sounds like the perfect weather you are having down in Tassie. I hope you can get out in it and enjoy it sometime today. Nothing more uplifting than nature with the sun smilingly down at us. Makes me feel alive. I should have the angel picture up in a couple of days.

Its true, everything passes. And when I think of it in this way not only does it help me not to feel too overwhelmed, but it also puts it in perspective of how short life is and how important it is to make the most of it before it slips away. Although life can try me to the limit and the pain can overwhelm (too many times 😫), it is also precious. Will speak again soon my friend. Sending lots of love your way always xxx 💜🌹xx

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Maggie
The visitor does sound quite draining in a way though i can also feel that they are having a hard time. Seems as though you and your garden are a safe and nurturing place for them? I hope that they are ok and that things improve.
@Former-Member i've read alot of your story over time and struggles with your daughter.. im so glad to hear that she has turned a corner so to speak. I really hope that this continues, especially with all else that has been going on with homes/health. You often inspire me with how you pick up and keep going through everything with a lot of courage. Really hope your beach walk is lovely today and friends visit is good.
@Maggie - i know im not exactly replying to things in your post to me, i often need time to process things to apply it to myself and think through things. i've not really ever talked about the times i feel different and it scares me to a certain extent i suppose. But i will be back... 🙂
hope your days are nice!

[Former-Member]

So nice to hear from you @Former-Member. I am so relieved our daughter finally has turned that corner as it was getting a bit much there for awhile. Things are looking up.

I have also missed our talks. I hope to see and engage with you more around the forums as you are inspiring to me also. We make a good team 😊 Hope all is going better in your world. Sending warm hugs xx

[Former-Member]

• Hope your day went okay and all is alright with you dear @Maggie Thinking of you x

• 

[Maggie]

Hi @Former-Member yes I'm ok, just very tired. Did your day out near your new home go well? I imagine this time of year the sea breeze would be lovely. It's also very good for you. I'm hoping the results will come through quickly and whatever treatment needed will begin soon. Are you doing another cross stitch atm? I haven't touched mine for well over a week and miss it, but concentration is bad right now, but it will return along with a little enthusiasm.

We are now in daylight saving time and evenings are longer, summer is on the doorstep. A bit of heat in the bones will be welcome. I have a few more seedlings to go in the garden today so I'll do that first thing. I've planted pansies, lobelia, cornflower, dwalf sunflower, so colour should look good, well, that's my hope anyway.

All working really well with the fence and dogs. They can bark at whoever/ whatever passes and be safe. I joined them in bed yesterday afternoon, just for a lie down. My girl hates bed in the daytime, she would rather sleep,on my knee, perfect electric blanket.

What are you up to today? Warm hug. Thankyou for the lovely pic.

[Former-Member]

Hello @Maggie

Glad to read all is good with you 😊 Yes, the day went well and the sea breeze was lovely; the weather here perfect at the moment. So I am making the most of it before the heat waves hit. We then went back to our friend's place and chatted and laughed a lot. Always makes me feel good when we visit there. My friend is taking me to bingo tomorrow where we meet up with another friend. She said given the stress I am under presently it will do me good. Even better if I win 😉:money_mouth_face: We are very close my friend and I. We do have a good chuckle.

I am still on the same cross stitch Sweethearts Gate by Dimensions. I am half way through it, am just about to stitch my favourite little bird Willy, that sits on the white picket fence. He looks exactly the same as my bird friend Willy (willy wagtail), who flys up to me most days on my front balcony and I talk away with him. Yes, I talk to the birds and was once caught out by my neighbour haha. I am going for a walk shortly then will spend most of the day stitching this as I have a lot to catch up with. 

I will also try and get some photos of my framed angel cross stitch today and see if I can get a picture up here of it soon.

Your backyard will be adorned with colour soon, can't wait to see it when it's in full flower. All those seedlings you mentioned you were planting I also sowed in my garden on my old rural property. How I miss it. People use to stop in their tracks to have a second look, the scent and colours were a sight to behold and you will find the same. I remember adding some tall foxgloves and planted the rose Seduction in the middle of them. I loved that rose bush. I miss those days.

Good to read the fence erection all went to plan and the dogs are enjoying getting out and about. Sounds like they would rather be with their human mother though, feeling safe and loved. So cute. I have one cat like that but she is my daughter's and will soon be moving. My other black British girl is fiercely independent and will grace me her presence for about five minutes a day with the occasional visit on my lap when it pleases. She is quite the princess lol.

So my day will be mostly walking and cross stitching to some pleasant music in the background. My house is beckoning for a clean but today I am saying nah. I am making the most of my quiet days to destress before the storm hits as there is a battle ahead re health issues. Keeping myself surrounded with positive people who care. Healing. So enjoying the peace to recharge while I can. 

Enjoy the gardening my friend, you will soon reap the rewards of your hard labor with their beauty. Give your fur babies a big hug for me. Will talk soon. Lots of love and positive energy always. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Maggie

How has your day been? Love your new profile pic