Lived Experience Forum

[Maggie]

I had a big simile and ahhh moment seeing your name pop up @Faith-and-Hope  

Welcome home. 💜💜💜

@CheerBear  my first coffee ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️. I hope you are ok today. Ok enough. 💜

@outlander @eth @Zoe7 @Gazza75  👋👋❤️❤️❤️

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Maggie 🤗💕

[CheerBear]

Morning @Maggie and all 👋

How was your yesterday? And hows that cup - ready for number 2?

Nice to see you again @Faith-and-Hope ❤

[Maggie]

I looked at the time after posting my first one this morning. @CheerBear  I didn’t realise it was that early. So I turned everything off. 

Heading for second ☕️☕️

Yesterday was ok ish. Went for a short drive with kind of friend. She needed time out. Dogs had a pleasant country walk.

I read you had a moment with one yesterday, so hard @CheerBear . Hope you are both doing ok enough today. ❤️

[CheerBear]

That's not a bad idea at that time of the morning @Maggie 🙂 Rough night or the usual?

It was super hard yesterday and a big thump of reality. I can't explain the feeling and how consuming it can be. When things got hard in this way I used to feel stretched and overwhelmed, but not this kind of 'way too big for me' that leads to 'I don't want to do this anymore'. It passed and we're OK now though.

How was it with kind of friend (big question there maybe). Nice to see the dogs enjoying themselves.

How's your day looking today?

[Maggie]

I guess reality can hit like that @CheerBear . I know those “ I can’t do this anymore” and “ way to big for me” feelings. Thankfully, they pass. They can leave scars in their wake. I / we wear many scars @CheerBear . Battle wounds. Proof we fought and won. 💪💪💪

I’ve moved emotionally with kind of friend. I take it or leave it. I don’t know if it’s positive or negative, but I can’t go on being hurt by her. I will support in a distant kind of way. They are capable of looking after each other. I need to look after me.

I have a mosaic paver ready to glue. I hope to do it today.

Hows your day looking. 💙💙

[CheerBear]

Lots of battle wounds @Maggie 🙁 I feel battle weary sometimes, as I imagine you do too. Thanks for getting it ❤

Emotionally moved on sounds protective of yourself. Taking company when it's good for you and furbaby and keeping some distance is a big step. I wish they were the friend you deserve though.

Are you able to glue the whole paver (put all the bits on it to finish it)? That sounds like a very cool thing to be doing today!

I'm not sure about today. I started it off OK being able to see the kitchen and laundry again so that felt nice to wake up to. The weather is strange here at the moment. Quite cool. Maybe bikes will get dusted off 🙂 I've got my crochet happening this morning which feels good and I'm in the middle of another book. It will be my third one this year already 🎉 (that's a really big deal considering my banana brain!)

[Maggie]

Third book sounds positive for potential study @CheerBear . 👍👍💜💜

Book talk... I’m reading an interesting one atm. ‘ Coping with trauma related dissociation’ by Suzette Boon and Kathy Steele. There’s not too much one this subject, but more than there used to be. Looking good so far.

I was devastated at Christmas @CheerBear. I’m working at trying to become visible. That sounds strange. It was imposed as a child, but I’m still hiding there somewhere. I’m searching for fragments of a self image, I don’t mind if it’s a low self image, just a self, my self. I don’t want/need to be the centre of attention, just to be counted, valued, heard. It’s tough and unfamiliar ground. Uncomfortable.

Im pleased you found your laundry/kitchen. More p,eased you are yarning, in more ways than one. 😁😁😁

I have the paver all set and pieces in place. Gluing should be fun. But I’m really looking forward to grouting. It’s my first big mosaic.

[CheerBear]

That's a serious looking book @Maggie. It looks really helpful (at quick glance). Is it tough/confronting to read?

I'm sorry Christmas was so hard. I'm super glad you're working on being seen and heard and are taking steps to be around people who value you (or not around people who don't). You do matter Maggie but it's hard to believe that when you've been told you don't.

I have a little moment that made me smile (could be weird to share but I'm going to anyway 😉). A couple of weeks ago Mr Grey and I were talking one night and I vaguely mentioned the forum ("somewhere I spend time" - no specifics, no giveaways) and how important it and people here are to me. I said I had a friend I looked forward to spending my mornings with most mornings and that I chat to her with coffee in the wee hours. Early, early one morning in bed I was tossing and turning as I do and reached for my phone to say hi to you through sleepy eyes. He rolled over and the first thing he said through his closed eyes was "good morning CheerBear's friend" before I got up for coffee. It was cool. I really appreciate and value you, as I know many here do.

Do you think your tile will be forum shareable? Grouting sounds fun. Messy 😁 I'm a few rounds of part two of my big one. Looking forward to showing you.

[Maggie]

Teared up with the story @CheerBear ‘ s friend. In a really really warm fuzzy way. Thankyou. I appreciate you so much. I hope you know that. 💙💙💙💙

It is a serious looking book @CheerBear . But so far reading friendly. It has exercises to do, like mindfulness etc after chapters. I’m taking it slow, as some of this stuff can be triggering. But honestly, almost anything can trigger.

Yes I will put my paver on the craft thread when it’s done, I really want you to see it.

I think sitting with my counsellor for 15 years is starting to pull some bricks out of my many layers of walks. Scary but good I think. I have liked being heard and treated respectfully. She never thinks ‘ different ‘ is weird. Maybe the hidden roots will emerge. Secretly hope so.

A few rounds from part two. You are going well. 🧶🧶🧶🧶

Looks grey and rainy here today.