Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

hello and hugs my sister @BlueBay 

good advice @mufasa 

we are with you @BlueBay 

@CheerBear, @Owlunar , @Maggie 

is your patio covered , sit out there 

takes small walks outside throughout the day 

having your bedroom a room where you can go to for 10 minutes at a time 

doing some colouring with Ayla , she love that and for you too xxxxx

[BlueBay]

Thsnks @CheerBear  

hi @mufasa I don't have any space for myself. All 3 kids are back home including my 2 yr old granddaughter. There is not one single space at all. 
I think when it stops raining I'll go fir a quick walk. 
I don't know thst I can stay inside for another few months if not longer. 
this is really affecting my mentsl health mood and emotions. As I'm sure it's affecting others too. 

[BlueBay]

hi sis @Shaz51 

The patio is all wet 😢 otherwise it would be good to go out there. 
I thought I might knit A scarfe for little A. It won't take long to do. 

It's going to be a very long and hard winter. 

[Shaz51]

I thought I might knit A scarfe for little A. --- that will be lovely  @BlueBay 

doing one thing at a time will help xoxo

[mufasa]

Hi @BlueBay , 

I'm sorry to hear your space is so crowded. Have you spoken to your family members about how the presence of everyone so close in the house is making you feel? It may be worth communicating this with them so that they are more aware of their behaviour if it may be too loud or intense at certain times. 

It's okay that this is affecting your mental health and mood, this is a global crisis and is to be expected. Just know that this will NOT be forever, and it's best not to anticipate how long this will last but rather turn your attention towards how you can make each day and each week as manageable and relaxing as possible for you in the circumstances that you've been given at home.  

[CheerBear]

Sounds very crowded at your place @BlueBay. I'm really feeling for people who have toddlers and preschoolers around. I would have struggled much more if this had happened when mine were that age.

Shower or a bath might help. Purely for that "I'm in the bathroom so please leave me alone" time. More hugs ❤

[Faith-and-Hope]

My mum used to pick my toddlers up and plonk then into the bath at the drop of a hat @BlueBay ..... she called it "water entertainment", and it's true .... bath toys, blowing soap bubbles, other household items to use as bath toys, or reading a story with them while they are in the bath sorta creates a play-pen that they are happy to be in for a while.

[CheerBear]

Baths were absolutely something that helped me with mine also @Faith-and-Hope 🙂

[Shaz51]

Baths were absolutely something that helped me with mine also , -- ohhh yes @CheerBear , @BlueBay , @Faith-and-Hope 

i did it when i did childcare, and with my step children 

[Owlunar]

Sheesh @BlueBay 

I don't think I could stand it either - I lived in a crowded house before I got married - Gran lived with us and was in very poor health - I was sharing a room with my sister then and her protocol was to annoy me as much as she could and I was at night school and needed to study and she was "just a little girl" and played loud music. I studied in my parents' room and it was sheer hell and I really hear what you are saying

Thinking about the whole winter would crop up today - it's so cold and wet up here where I live I am just trying to keep warm - remembering back I do have an idea of no where to go - but what can I suggest?

Try and not think of the whole winter - today is about as much as I can manage at the moment - I imagine there is someone in every room you want to walk into - I always consider it really discrimatory that a woman often does not have a room of her own and shares a room with her husband and he sometimes has a study or a shed that is his space

Anyway - I have every faith everyone else in the house is tense too - no where to go and nothing to do if you could - you would be able to drive yourself to the beach because you are a resident there - and then sit in your car with your music for a while - and I really do hope you can do that

And write down what you want to say to your family and having a meeting where people can say what they want to - and let them know how having them crowded into a house not big enough for 5 adults and a toddler and set some rules for everyone to have some time and space that they can rely on to be uninterupted - you need that and they need that and I know this is easier said than done but please try

As for the pest - suggest to your daughter than it would not be a good idea for A to see he pest's new bit of fluff right now with the coronavirus around - you are right that it's your daughter's right to do as she chooses but you can say that much - I rarely suggest anything to my daughter and when I do she usually takes it very well and acts on it in a positive manner

All the best with that - it is a crappy day - yes - it sure is

Dec