Lived Experience Forum

[NameUnknown]

hello to you in the stars above,

i cant believe is been 15 years since i seen you last ill never forget the memories we shared or the torment that lead to your untimely death. just 9 years old still a whole life to lead but things go wrong and things change. i will never forget your smiling face even though i have no pictures to keep. in two weeks time will mark the day i almost followed you but something prevented that and i am still here just wish that it saved you too ill never forget they way you were that day some still cant believe that a child so young was capable or had experienced what we had to lead to the actions you took and that i attempted life for me is better now i still suffer from my experiences in childhood but i get by with support around me now i hope you are good where you are too you were my best friend and nothing can replace who you are to me because even though you are gone i still clearly remember what we shared

[Owlunar]

@NameUnknown

Thanks for letting us know  - I am a bereaved mother myself and understand what you are goin through

I care a lot - right now I am taking time out but I will try and keep in touch

Dec

[NameUnknown]

hi @Owlunar,

thanks for the support she was actually a childhood friend we were both raped walking through an ally at the back of a park on the way to her place from school the day she took her life i found her but was scared of getting in trouble dont know why so i ran out and left for school and pretended to that the first time i knew was when we were told at assembly i have a lot of guilt about it as i began to think that if i had told someone she might have been saved but i was only nine and in fostercare where i was already suffering abuse so i didnt really trust adults 

[Former-Member]

Hi @NameUnknown - this is so very sad 😞 Such a lot of grief to carry and understandably so. I'm so sorry that such horrible things happened to you and that you lost your friend. Thank you for sharing about it.
Hope that tomorrow the pain is less.
take care

[Former-Member]

Be kind you yourself 💜💕

[Neelix]

Hi @NameUnknown hope you are feeling a little better after sharing your sorrow here. Continue to share here if you can as it will 'get it out' of your mind so to speak. Just a thought there not a pressure. I was walking yesterday, the sun was shinning and I looked up at the blossoms on the trees and thought, how red and perfect the blossoms look. The wind was warm and the small lake had small waves. I'd never noticed before how it calmed me to look at it. Hope your day is okay today @NameUnknown

[NameUnknown]

hi all,

i did try to post this earlier but it turns out my internet must have stuffed up or some thing as it didnt post

i am still feeling down and dont see my psychologist till the 19th but i am doing my self care routine and it helps so gonna foucus on that and other stuff till my appointment 

@Former-Member,

i dont have a problem with sharing now it the emotions i have trouble with i often hide how i truly feel as i dont like the attention focus its easier for me to write than it is to speak about how i feel so thats when i had another friend show me the forums a few years ago i have used it ever since just changed my profile a few times and i also go through periods where i dont like being online

@Former-Member,

thats exactly what it is like for me at the moment 

@Neelix,

when i feel up to it i do actually share my story its just that my abuse started when i was three and ive been through so much that some cant handle my whole story in one go so i tend to only share when im feeling triggered. and thats lovely i love the way the sun shines it light on the nature of the world

[Phoenix_Rising]

Thank you for sharing a bit of your story here @NameUnknown. I feel so sad that you have experienced the things that you have, and I understand that what you have shared here is only one part of your story.