Lived Experience Forum

[confused_nomad]

Hi again

so this morning I tried a group therapy thing for the first time in my life. I had to leave within the first half an hour. hearing other people's stories of getting the treatments and support that I've been asking for and being turned away from was just too triggering. now im back to the level of depression I was feeling before going into hospital, only going to hospital this time isn't an option because last time they discharged me whilst I was still suicidal, hearing voices and self harming

no idea what to do next 😞

[Historylover]

I don't know what to say @confused_nomad. I hope you're getting back to a little normality today. I don't have any advice either, except to say just be kind to yourself and take care. Sending best wishes.

[Bow]

Hey @confused_nomad sorry this has happened  for you this morning and that it’s left you feeling like this. ive done some groups in my time, and yeah I’ve found them to be triggering too cause you just never know what other people are going to talk about. They need to be ran really well and have good facilitators, but even then you just never know what you’ll get. 

hope your safe 

[Christheart]

@confused_nomad Oh no 😔 That’s so horrible. Can you return to your treating doctor and let them know? Perhaps your medication needs tweaking? 

Just try and hang in there. Let your treating doctor know this is not working and you need to try something else. 

I know how hard it is, how sick of it you are and how you just want relief. Leave a place in your mind for the possibility of recovery, it’s always a possibility. I try not to cling to the possibility, but I let the hope of it stay alive in my mind. Don’t shut it down with thoughts like ‘I will never get better’ because that leads down a bad road. 

We’re here for you ❤️

Christheart

[confused_nomad]

my psychiatrist recently lied to me and told me he was going overseas for 2.5 months (which I then found out was not the case) - he knew I was suicidal and still refused to even talk to me. he was meant to do a treatment plan to give my GP and didn't do it. so I don't trust him at all. 

my GP is currently away too

that's why I resorted to the hospital, but they just discharged me without doing anything to help me

[tyme]

I'm sorry to hear this @confused_nomad ,

It must be so difficult in that you put your trust in someone only to find out it wasn't the case.

Would you see this psychiatrist again? I have found myself in this situation before. I had two choices:

1) continue seeing the psychiatrist

2) never return

Instinctively, I would chose the second option - never return. However, I chose to work differently this time, but with a plan. So, i continued to see the pdoc. When I saw him, I had a list in my mind to get off my chest. In your case, my questions would be:

- why did you tell me you were going away when I find out later you weren't?

- why did you promise a treatment plan to my GP and then not do it?

- is there a reason you do not speak to me when I say I am suicidal?

I've learnt to get these things off my chest, because ultimately, there MAY be a reason for each of these mis-actions. Also, I've learnt that if I hold things against people, ultimately, I'm getting hurt - not them.

I hope you find the courage to do what is right for you - because you deserve it!

tyme

[tyme]

Oh @confused_nomad ,

I was meaning to respond to your initial post about group therapy! I'm glad I've come back to it. 

When I was younger, I said "NO WAY!" to group therapy.

Later, it felt like a last resort, so I went ahead with it. It was so challenging at times. Sometimes, I had to leave early on because it was so triggering. However, the way the group was allowed a facilitator to debrief with me if I ever left the group - sometimes I returned after the debrief and sometimes I didn't.

Did anyone follow up with you after you left the group? I think it is important to speak to someone about what happened for you. 

Honestly speaking, for what I was working through, group therapy was the key to recovery. I practised and exercised skills to cope with and manage myself, my emotions, and other people. It was soooo triggering sometimes, but I pushed through. And after two years of it, I saw a remarkable change. I wouldn't be where I am without group therapy - it took me out of my comforts.

However, it also has to be something you are ready to do. So you have a key psychologist you can speak to about these groups sessions? I also think that is so important.

I'm around if you want a chat.

tyme

[confused_nomad]

thanks tyme

yes I have just started seeing a new psychologist, ive had so many bad experiences with seeing them over the years that I havent done it for a while but ive just found someone I clicked with so that's good

no one from the group spoke to me after or has contacted me since

im not sure if im going to go back at this stage. its just more rubbing it in my face that other people get the help and treatments that I've been crying out for. 

[tyme]

I'm sorry you didn't have any follow up after your group session @confused_nomad . Would you consider phoning them before the next session to discuss the concerns?

Whether you return is absolutely your choice. In the long run, it is important you protect yourself and know when and what you are ready for. 

I'm 100% behind you on your decision @confused_nomad .

tyme