Lived Experience Forum

[Cin]

I was just wondering if anyone else feels this way. I seem to get annoyed /frustrated when I get advice to just think happy thoughts.. Make up my mind to not let anything get me down and my clinical depression will just lift. I mean if it was that easy l would be doing that? 

[Gwynn]

If it were that easy, there wouldn’t be any psychologists.

[Cin]

Yes exactly.. Does this happen to you? Thanks for replying. 

[Former-Member]

My University counselor has been trying to get me to think more positively recently, and I admit it is a bit annoying.

I will say that positive thinking is not a solution, but sometimes when you're thinking negatively, you can talk yourself out of very real solutions.

Positive thinking is not going to help you in a situation of crisis, but you might be reluctant to call Lifeline, because you might have negative thoughts about it. You might have to wait a long time, or you've heard some horror stories about it or whatever. In THOSE situations, I would say that you have to think positively, or at least give it a chance.

I've said this before, but when you're meeting new people, give them a blank slate. People may have hurt you before, but the people in front of you aren't THOSE people. If you think negatively, you're not going to give them a chance.

In the end, like everything, it's complicated.

[Gwynn]

Yeah, I used to get this a lot. What helps me with my thoughts is recognising that just because I think something, doesn't make it true, that I can think a thought but I can also defuse from it ( https://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Cognitive-Defusion-Exercise-1.pdf ) and sometimes just plain distraction. I haven't worked out what to do about the postivity-at-all-times brigade, though. 😛

[Cin]

Thanks for your reply but I was only using think positive as an example.. I exercise.. Eat well.. Take my antidepressants etc yet my clinical depression is still severe. I am wanting to know how to not let comments from people bother annoy me so much. Another example is when someone who knows how depressed l am says.. Have a great? day.. I am battling to survive the day. Or else they question why I am not better now. 

[Cin]

Thanks for your support and lm thinking that because you say that you used to get this a lot that it will pass. 

[Gwynn]

What do you say to yourself when they make these comments that get under your skin? I feel like what I've been saying to myself about the comments has changed over time. I feel like I've gotten a bit less depressed as well, so I'm not getting the comments as much.

[Cin]

Yes that makes sense... I just find myself getting really agitated and dwelling on their comments for quite a while afterwards. I get defensive... All things l would like to overcome. 

[bipolarbunny]

Hi @Cin I definitely get what you are saying, it used to frustrate me all the time too. 
What changed for me and helped me to get less frustrated with people was realising that generally they are well meaning, but they more than likely have no idea what true depression is, because if they had any idea they wouldn't say that to you. 
Also people can only ever view your struggles from their perspective. They can't know your pain or truly understand what life is like for you and often are so uncomfortable in not knowing what to do to help you will just blurt out something stupid or superficial. 
I guess what I'm saying is when I realised that they could never possibly understand me or what I was going through, I stopped looking to their comments as something that may be comforting or distressing. 
Maybe rather than concentrate on what they are saying, think of the intent behind what they've said. If it appears they are trying to cheer you up, just take it as them caring enough to recognise your distress. 
But if someone is saying something with ill intent or sheer ignorance to upset you, don't give them the time and space in your head. Mindfulness can be a really great technique to ground you if you get frustrated by your thoughts. 
My old psychologist used to have a couple of sayings on his white board, "Thoughts are NOT Facts" and another one "Beliefs are only YOUR opinion". 
Hope you can find a little light in your dark days, take care xx

BB 🐰💙